Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil's Tongue

Saturday, March 04, 2006 | 09:30 AM

I've long been a fan of Ambrose Bierce's Unabridged Devil's Dictionary.

Bloomberg's John Dorfman has put together his own version:  Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil's Tongue.

Here are my favorite entries:   

Accountant: A person who determines a company's revenue and earnings figures, and who is also paid by the company. An old joke has a CEO interviewing several prospective accountants. He asks each one, ``How much is two plus two?'' The winning answer: ``How much would you like it to be?''

Bear market: An unpleasant downturn in stock prices, generally exceeding 20 percent, that ends the day after you give up and sell all of your stocks.

Day trader: Someone whose investment time horizon is shorter than yours.

Earnings: (1) Profits. (2) The excess of revenue over expenses. (3) An arbitrary figure engineered by a company's executives to facilitate the rewarding of generous bonuses to themselves.

Long term: That period of time over which I am proven right.

Pro forma earnings: A company's self-serving earnings statement in which unfavorable things are disregarded on the grounds that they don't really matter.

 

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Source:
Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil's Tongue   
John Dorfman
Bloomberg, Feb 28, 2006
http://tinyurl.com/krx8p

Saturday, March 04, 2006 | 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0)
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Comments

You meant "Bierce", not "Pierce."

Posted by: Tom Gibson | Mar 4, 2006 9:59:16 AM

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