So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish!
Spitzer has officially resigned.
I was trying to come up with a clever headline for his resignation, but the best I could come up with was the title of Douglas Adams Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy title.
Can anyone come up with anything better?
Sources:
Spitzer Resigns, Citing Personal Failings
DANNY HAKIM and ANAHAD O’CONNOR
NYT, March 12, 2008
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/12/nyregion/12cnd-resign.html
Eliot Spitzer Resigns as Governor;
Lt. Gov. Paterson to Succeed Him
A WALL STREET JOURNAL ONLINE NEWS ROUNDUP
March 12, 2008 12:08 p.m.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120532420627930015.html
Wednesday, March 12, 2008 | 12:11 PM | Permalink
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Comments
"Spitzer Goes Down"
Or would that be a poor choice of words in this context?
Ahem.
Posted by: Jackson | Mar 12, 2008 12:17:15 PM
LOL
Posted by: Portland Refugee | Mar 12, 2008 12:17:20 PM
Say this Mr. Clean doesn't clean like it used to
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:17:53 PM
Spitzer Given The Hook(er).
Posted by: TheGuru | Mar 12, 2008 12:20:01 PM
"Will the last clean politician please turn out the light"
Posted by: Casey | Mar 12, 2008 12:22:32 PM
How about:
"We apologize for the inconvenience."
Posted by: Pool Shark | Mar 12, 2008 12:24:58 PM
Spitzer is off the hook(ers).
Couldn't rsist Guru. :>)
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:28:55 PM
How about Rosana Rosanadana -
Never Mind...
Posted by: Don | Mar 12, 2008 12:30:01 PM
Dennis, I will never tell!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:30:32 PM
Old Joe Kennedy
Dwight Eisenhour
Georgie Patton
Jack and Bobby Kennedy
Ted Kennedy (at least Spitzer didn't kill anyone
Bubba Bill Clinton
What did these men have in common. They didn't have to pay for it. Spitzer must be a real loser.
Posted by: Ross | Mar 12, 2008 12:32:58 PM
Call Girl Margin Call takes out Spitzer
Posted by: JKB | Mar 12, 2008 12:33:39 PM
He came in swinging and went out schwinging.
Posted by: Paul in NYC | Mar 12, 2008 12:34:17 PM
Ross, I'm thinking Napoleon Complex.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:36:13 PM
Paul in NYC, LOL...I quit because there is no way to top yours. Very quick wit with some wisdom hidden in there as well. BRAVO!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:38:37 PM
Spitzer swallows.
Posted by: some jerk | Mar 12, 2008 12:40:23 PM
There ain't no such thing as free you-know-what. The only question is the terms and instruments (freely adapted from R.A. Heinlein). As for titles as long as you're on an Adams roll how 'bout
1) The Answer Was NOT 44
or better yet
2) The Long Dark Tea-time of the Sour
Posted by: dblwyo | Mar 12, 2008 12:40:59 PM
Does Eliot Spitzerswallows?
Posted by: Julian | Mar 12, 2008 12:41:26 PM
Nevermind
Posted by: Innocent Bystander | Mar 12, 2008 12:41:45 PM
Good one JKB! shorten it to
Margin Call (Girl) Sinks Spitz
Posted by: Booyaaaa | Mar 12, 2008 12:42:24 PM
dblwyo:
No, the answer was 42.
Posted by: Pool Shark | Mar 12, 2008 12:43:00 PM
Willy Eliot...nice movie
Posted by: Saint Ben | Mar 12, 2008 12:43:37 PM
How about:
Only Zaphod Beeblebrox could get a head on the side and still be president.
Posted by: Pool Shark | Mar 12, 2008 12:45:22 PM
btw, I hope she was "the best bang since the big one."
Posted by: Pool Shark | Mar 12, 2008 12:47:19 PM
He took it hard.
Posted by: cathompson | Mar 12, 2008 12:51:15 PM
She dropped to her knees when she heard the news!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:53:42 PM
Bye, Eliot. Here's hooking at you, kid!
(sorry, I'll go back to lurking.)
Posted by: dianeb | Mar 12, 2008 12:54:25 PM
She swallowed hard when confronted with the news!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:55:15 PM
He's gonna have time to fish, so why not buy a boat and name it the "Happy Hooker".
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 12:57:57 PM
“He who lives by the sword dies by the sword.”
Posted by: Retiredinsobe | Mar 12, 2008 1:04:49 PM
Poor kid fell hard for Elliot!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 1:04:58 PM
The mention of Client #9 took me back to my Sesame Street Days (actually college days) and this segment from Schoolhouse Rock called:
"Naughty Number Nine"
Number nine will put you on the spot.
Number nine will tie you up, oh, in a knot.
When you're tryin',
Multiplyin' by nine,
You might give it everything you've got
And still be stopped.
If you don't know some secret way you can check on,
You'll break your neck on
Naughty number nine.
You could use those tricks.
'Cause you must have some secret way you can beat it,
Or else you'll meet it
With naughty number nine.
If they don't add up, you've made a mistake.
'Cause you must have some secret way you can check it,
Or else you'll wreck it
With naughty, nasty, mean old number nine.
Bob Dorough
Grady Tate
Phil Kimmelman and Associate
http://www.schoolhouserock.tv/Naughty.html
Posted by: blaas | Mar 12, 2008 1:05:06 PM
His campaign slogan was, "You always get more bang with Elliot".
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 1:07:16 PM
Governor Resigns! Succums (sic) To Pressure
Posted by: bonghiteric | Mar 12, 2008 1:11:00 PM
Ho Long!
Posted by: jw | Mar 12, 2008 1:13:54 PM
"Elliot Spitz the Bit"
Posted by: shoeless | Mar 12, 2008 1:14:15 PM
STOP, SPECTRE STOP.......I'm ON THE FLOOR POSTING WITH MY TOES!!!!!!!
Posted by: Ross | Mar 12, 2008 1:15:32 PM
"Pride cometh before the fall."
Posted by: Emmett | Mar 12, 2008 1:16:35 PM
Spitzer Quits'er
Posted by: Salomon | Mar 12, 2008 1:21:52 PM
Reap what you ho?
Emmett's and others are better.
Posted by: lurker | Mar 12, 2008 1:28:37 PM
"Dude, where's my job?"
Posted by: SINGER | Mar 12, 2008 1:31:25 PM
"Gov, You're no Jack Kennedy"
(credited to Lloyd Bentsen, 1988)
Posted by: BigDog | Mar 12, 2008 1:34:48 PM
Read the last words jerks...(The words in Spitzers mind as he stood there)
SPITZER’S ACTUAL WORDS [Not reported by the media]
[Responding to the first question]
Well … my wife whom I love has been hurt by this, and I am very sorry for that. Very. I never intended to hurt her …
[The Governor, struggling to gather himself for nearly a minute, then continued.]
… But now I have to ask why a man’s or a woman’s sexual peccadilloes have to be splashed all over the media in this country. As though private sexual relations between men and women are news.
You know … the religious NAZIs in this country …. the so-called religious leaders … and the completely corrupt media that are always going on about this sort of thing … maybe it’s time for people to grow up.
See, I’ve got news for you. All humans are sexually active. And most of of us do have sexual relations outside our main family relationships. That may uncomfortable to hear but its true.
So-called “religious leaders,” most of whom are certainly “getting a little” on the side — sometimes with men, sometimes with women (and a LOT of politicians too); even some media moguls know this. Everybody knows this. So why is it NEWS?
I’ll tell you why: Because SEX is used to blackmail and control people by all these so-called “leaders”. They control politics with it. They use SEX for power, the same way rapists do. And that, I grant you, is a slimeball thing to do.
First they lie to convince you that sex outside marriage is always bad. Then they lie again, pretending that they themselves and other so-called “good” people never do such things. Finally, they lie when they tell you all it’s NEWS … that a political figure sought and found a bit of sexual comfort, in privacy.
Humans seek and need a lot of sexual comfort in this screwed up world that these so-called leaders have foisted on us all — every one of you does and every damned one of you knows this.
So if you want to understand our so-called religious leadership in America today … and our so-called political and MEDIA leadership. There is a WORD you should keep in mind … more clearly even than these words: MONEY and BRIBE. The word you should keep in mind is BLACKMAIL.
An awful lot of politics is controlled by blackmail.
Think Bush. Think NSA spying. That’s how they’re running the country.
[Spitzer then abruptly left the briefing room.]
Posted by: Maggy | Mar 12, 2008 1:39:33 PM
Probably his is listening The White Album (The Beatles)
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
Number 9
.......9
.......9
Posted by: Rod | Mar 12, 2008 1:43:32 PM
Spitzer Pulls Out
Posted by: shoeless | Mar 12, 2008 1:48:11 PM
Spitzer goes down!
Spitzer, I don't even know her.
Posted by: Metroplexual | Mar 12, 2008 1:53:20 PM
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, good night,
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight.
So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehen, adieu,
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and yieu.
Posted by: Metroplexual | Mar 12, 2008 1:57:15 PM
For $5500 an hour they should call her Swallow-zer's Call Girl.
Posted by: Knowno | Mar 12, 2008 1:57:50 PM
Elliot Spitzer was seen as a modern day Robin Hood while in fact he was doing Robin for way more than Hood prices".
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 2:04:42 PM
LANG GONE. In honor of his nemesis, Ken Langone.
Posted by: IBH | Mar 12, 2008 2:06:13 PM
Spitzer Stimulous Plan Backfires!
In a bold initiative, a public figure sought to use own personal funds to boost interstate trade and alleviate a sagging economy. However, Republicans were quick to criticize the plan as wasteful spending: "Typical of Democrats Spitzer wanted the extras!"
Posted by: Chief Tomahawk | Mar 12, 2008 2:10:18 PM
Spitzer's wife rumoured to be intereted in NY governor job.
Posted by: Bob Loblaw | Mar 12, 2008 2:23:00 PM
"Elliot Spitzer was seen as a modern day Robin Hood while in fact he was doing Robin for way more than Hood prices".
His real name was "Throbbin' Wood"
Posted by: shoeless | Mar 12, 2008 2:28:25 PM
Deep Throat follows the Money
Posted by: J | Mar 12, 2008 2:28:45 PM
81K in prostitution fees!!! Boy did he get screwed!
Posted by: Portland Refugee | Mar 12, 2008 2:30:30 PM
"Whadda' makin' a Federal case outa dis for?"
I mean, The Mann Act? Really?
Posted by: freejack | Mar 12, 2008 2:37:36 PM
In other news, Dick Grasso is still on trial.
Posted by: Max | Mar 12, 2008 2:52:14 PM
"Will the last clean politician please turn out the light"
How about the first one? Any one? Are there ANY clean politicians out there?
As for the headline, how about
NY...Spitzer....out
Posted by: DavidB | Mar 12, 2008 2:55:37 PM
Hookers aren't for little kids, they're for Daddies. Now go get Daddy another beer!
Posted by: randy | Mar 12, 2008 2:59:14 PM
Eliot waves goodbye
Posted by: ramstone | Mar 12, 2008 3:11:31 PM
Diamonds Are Forever!
Posted by: Lars | Mar 12, 2008 3:47:15 PM
Spitzer just got a new job with the Better Business Burro.....
Very Funny....
http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/player.jhtml?ml_video=86026&ml_collection=&ml_gateway=&ml_gateway_id=&ml_comedian=&ml_runtime=&ml_context=show&ml_origin_url=/shows/reno_911/videos/season_4/index.jhtml%3Fstart%3D16&ml_playlist=&lnk=&is_large=true
Econolicious
Posted by: ECONOMISTA NON GRATA | Mar 12, 2008 3:48:53 PM
The Spitz is over?
He had to do it because it would have been impossible to function but at least he did the right thing which is more than can be said for many. I do find all the self righteous moralizing a bit hard to take though. After all it's a fair bet that the fifty high class escorts of the Emperors Club are mainly doing overtime with Wall Streeters some of it being paid for with stockholders money. Otherwise why would this high priced meat market exist in NYC and not say Independence, MO. The WSJ ed page indulged in an absolute Spitzer Auto da fe this morning. But then hypocrisy is one of our major national failings.
Posted by: john | Mar 12, 2008 3:55:10 PM
all I can say is that if Spitzer were a GOP product none of this would have come to light.
Spitzer was stupid and got caught. Does that make Ah-nold any better????
that this "broke" the evening before the fed crap is purely a coincidence....
Just like gay marriage was "important" when questions about Iraq became louder and louder. The douche's that pass as "leaders" couldn't wait to take him down for all of that pesky regulation he forced them to accept.
having said that....he should have seen the target on his back.......
Not an issue at all were he GOP material.
Ciao
MS
Posted by: Michael schumacher | Mar 12, 2008 4:02:29 PM
Sorru I messed up on the previous post.....
Here is Spitzer at his new job with The BBB.....
http://www.comedycentral.com/motherload/?lnk=v&ml_video=86026
Econolicious
Posted by: ECONOMISTA NON GRATA | Mar 12, 2008 4:12:59 PM
SO LONG AND THANKS FOR ALL THE PUSSY
Posted by: heres the crude oil | Mar 12, 2008 4:23:17 PM
Spitzer spritzed'er, quitzer, career in the shitzer
Posted by: curmudgeonly troll | Mar 12, 2008 5:11:32 PM
Fucking STEAMROLLED !!!
Posted by: SIV | Mar 12, 2008 5:19:17 PM
spitzer: steamrolled out of office
bush: re-elected
every nation has the government it deserves.
Posted by: sebastianz | Mar 12, 2008 5:26:19 PM
RIP Elliot Spitzer,
A man who went to Stomping Corruption to Schtupping Corruption wherever he found it.
Posted by: Kinchip | Mar 12, 2008 5:28:44 PM
You are number 9
I am not a number; I am a free man!
(Well, freer than he really wanted to be, now.)
Posted by: Darkness | Mar 12, 2008 5:37:19 PM
Cmon, this is too easy:
Spitzer Swallows His Pride
Posted by: MattC | Mar 12, 2008 5:48:05 PM
"I am tired to be client #9"
I think that he will be the media boy for Virgin...
http://www.marketingmag.ca/daily/20080312PM/topstory.html
Posted by: Canuck | Mar 12, 2008 5:50:04 PM
Spitzer hires new assistant, Jack Off.
Posted by: BigDog | Mar 12, 2008 7:44:42 PM
MS, I guess you don't remember the Speaker of The House who resigned because of an affair during the Clinton Administration. Sheeple make me laugh so please don't stop with the comedy.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:04:36 PM
I hope he doesn't do constuction work because every time they yell heave ho he's gonna be looking for one of his girls.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:08:57 PM
Brings a whole new meaning to the song, "Love Potion #9".
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:10:48 PM
He went after Grasso for excessive compensation while he's toast because of excessive ejaculation.
You have to know when to Ho em and when to fold em.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:16:34 PM
MS, the target on his back was probably just a stain. It happens.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:35:54 PM
She bent over backwards to please him!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:52:32 PM
Maggy, I don't give a rat's ass what he said. You true believers are scary as Hell!
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 8:55:30 PM
If he goes to a Dude Ranch, when they yell, "wagons Ho" he will think he has a date.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 9:00:31 PM
He could do a Campbells Soup Commercial, and the jingle could be..."Ho do you handle a hungry man?...with a man handler!", sung by one of his lovely ladies of course because they work for their living.
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 12, 2008 9:15:21 PM
Spitzer gets Spat????
Who spat Spitzer???
Posted by: Simon | Mar 12, 2008 10:00:26 PM
in a similar vein, when and if any important female hedge fund manager gets into trouble or passes, the obit could read:
Devoted Manager
Beloved Qu(a)nt
Thank you LD
Posted by: IBH | Mar 12, 2008 10:21:09 PM
Elliot's Erection Nullifies Election
Posted by: Bill | Mar 12, 2008 10:25:40 PM
How about 'Skanks for the Memories"
Posted by: ray charlesman | Mar 12, 2008 10:45:49 PM
Above the law (yer)
the dick stops here
Posted by: mitch | Mar 12, 2008 10:55:28 PM
"If you see me getting smaller I'm leaving
Don't be grieving
Just got to get away today..."
(Waylon Jennings)
Posted by: steve | Mar 12, 2008 11:42:03 PM
Spectre.....get a life.
Read again....made up.
Posted by: Maggy | Mar 13, 2008 7:44:00 AM
Maggy, Your thoughts regarding Spitzer scare the Hell out of me. True believers like you scare the Hell out of me. You sheeple who lean on one Party or another scare the Hell out of me. Got it true believer?
Posted by: SPECTRE of Deflation | Mar 13, 2008 8:30:21 AM
Slate headlined their coverage, "Tainted Gov," which I thought was pretty good.
Posted by: AndrewBW | Mar 13, 2008 9:20:00 AM
