Your Investment Goals
Whatever your investment goals were, your screwed.
More fun psychological humor . . .
Wednesday, October 08, 2008 | 09:30 PM | Permalink
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Nice. How is she gonna off him? Make him listen to Cramer til his head explodes (around 10 minutes...)
And there but for the grace of GLD and SDS go I.
Posted by: Scott in Chicago | Oct 8, 2008 9:50:25 PM
Yikes. I'm not the grammar cop, really I ain't ...
your -> should be the conjunction you're
"whatever your investment goals were, you are screwed."
Posted by: Comrade Darkness | Oct 8, 2008 10:04:46 PM
make it simple . Buy gold.
Posted by: Mark | Oct 8, 2008 10:25:07 PM
And tatooed.
Posted by: AGG | Oct 8, 2008 10:31:20 PM
HILARIOUS!
It's almost pathetic how funny it is, but I guess it's only funny because of the truth behind it.
Posted by: Sharon Salisbury | Oct 8, 2008 11:29:37 PM
Wow, I'm impressed that you guys in New York watch "This Hour Has 22 Minutes". BR, are you a closet CBC fan? :)
For those non-Canadians out there, this is a spoof of a Scotiabank commercial.
Posted by: james | Oct 8, 2008 11:30:19 PM
Got this reply today from my Senator, Tom Carper, to my e-mail objecting to the Paulson plan.
"While Smyrna, Wilmington, Bethany Beach, or Dover may not have a Wall Street within the city limits, their citizens-the American taxpayer-have become deeply interconnected with Wall Street. Therefore, without a swift Congressional response, the panic we've seen on Wall Street would have spread to Main Street in a manner even more painful than what has already occurred, resulting in higher unemployment, additional lost retirement savings, more foreclosures, further difficulties in meeting payroll, and a growing inability of many Americans and businesses to take out loans. I agree with you that taxpayers should not pay for Wall Street's mistakes, and the legislation that's been enacted does not do that. The current financial crisis, however, is so deep and so broad that it threatens our entire economy, and the risk to all Americans was too great not to act in an appropriate and expedient manner.
With that said, I liken our nation's economic engine to the engines of the vehicles that we drive. Just as a car's engine will seize up and stop running if it loses enough oil, our nation's economic engine will grind to a halt if the liquidity that enables our banking system to function drains out of it. The economic stabilization, or rescue, plan that the Congress and President have enacted begins to replace the oil, or liquidity, that's drained out of our nation's banking system this year. While not perfect, I believe this plan - over time -- will restore confidence and liquidity to a frozen financial system. I also believe it has the potential to stave off the possibility of even more unemployment, foreclosures, and bankruptcies. In short, once it's implemented, this plan will enable Americans to continue borrowing to buy cars and houses, send their kids to college, and to get loans to keep their businesses running and pay their employees."
So, according to my highly compensated Senator, all we need to do is add a little more oil to the engine, and everything will be fine. This financial crisis is merely the equivalent of the oil engine warning light coming on!
Senator, the engine seized up. Pouring more oil into won't do a thing but waste oil. The engine needs a complete overhaul. Pumping liquidity into our financial system now will only compress the inflation spring more tightly, and when it let's go, it will destroy 99% of your constituents life savings. dmc.
Posted by: dmc | Oct 8, 2008 11:39:43 PM
Off topic but at least it shows some worthy renters who aren't getting screwed:
CHICAGO (AP) - Residents of foreclosed properties in Chicago and other parts of Cook County don't have to worry about deputies forcing them out. Sheriff Tom Dart says that starting Thursday his office won't take part in evictions.
Dart says he's concerned that many of the people being evicted are renters who were unaware that their landlords have been failing to pay their mortgages. He says his deputies have no way of knowing whether they're removing someone who has defaulted on a loan or someone who has been faithfully paying rent.
Dart says he thinks he's the first sheriff in a major metropolitan area to stop such evictions during the ongoing foreclosure crisis.
Dart says the number of mortgage foreclosures in Cook County has skyrocketed and will probably keep rising.
Posted by: AGG | Oct 8, 2008 11:45:06 PM
The title of the Mad Money recap tonight on TSCM was: "Cramer: Fed Cuts Are No Cure All". The title of a piece Cramer wrote earlier this year was, "Fed Cuts Are a True Panacea". Being a guru is complicated.
Posted by: Eric | Oct 9, 2008 12:20:22 AM
MyFoxNY.com -- Cops say the Wall Street crisis has had a disturbing affect on one disgruntled investor. Police charged a 60-year-old man with threatening to blow up a bank branch in Stamford. Authorities say he was angry about his investment losses, so he walked into a branch and said he would kill everyone inside.
Losing money has a way of making people act crazy. It's crazy time, folks. Don't get into heated or any other kind of arguements with people around you that look very pissed. They aren't acting and it's probably about money.
Posted by: AGG | Oct 9, 2008 12:35:09 AM
Barry,
Any good reason why the USD is going thru the roof?
Becos the rest of the world economies are screwed and need to cut rates?
Posted by: luozhiyong | Oct 9, 2008 12:37:59 AM
luozhiyong, "electronic dollars" (credit) are being written off. That means there are "fewer zeros" on some balance sheets than last year around this time. Anytime you reduce the quantity of something, it becomes more valuable.
That's what's happening.
Posted by: wunsacon | Oct 9, 2008 12:51:53 AM
Oh, *if* the same thing were to happen to the same extent on debt denominated in other currencies, then my explanation would suck. And then you'd have to look at interest rate differentials, like you suggest. But, AFAIK, US real estate holdings and debt are suffering the greatest writeoffs.
Others may surely correct and elaborate...
Posted by: wunsacon | Oct 9, 2008 12:55:25 AM
Here's a little video I put together to help me through the day.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLBsPkLYD7c
Posted by: steb | Oct 9, 2008 12:56:23 AM
Hmmmm... it would have been funnier with the roles reversed. Oh wait! White males are the new pinata for the mass media--what blasphemy! I'm so sorry....
Posted by: Brian | Oct 9, 2008 1:08:53 AM
So let's sum it up, grandpa:
1.) You can't retire now.
2.) You have to go back to work.
3.) You have to pay more in taxes.
Welcome to American Capitalism.
Posted by: Pat G. | Oct 9, 2008 1:27:14 AM
Did Roubini just capitulate by saying we can expect a 2 year recession that will be worse than he thought it would be? He also says more banks will fail. So what else is new ie if this becomes everyday news we'll have a nice orderly down market to work with, won't we?
Posted by: sparky | Oct 9, 2008 1:47:16 AM
The Cab Driver Goes to Heaven
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St. Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the cabbie, St. Peter invites him to pick up a silk robe and a golden staff and to proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says, "Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I deserve better".
St. Peter looked at him and said, "This is Heaven. Only results count. When you preached people slept. When the cabbie drove, people prayed".
We're in Paulson's cab, folks. Hang on for dear life.
Posted by: AGG | Oct 9, 2008 2:31:03 AM
"Hmmmm... it would have been funnier with the roles reversed. Oh wait! White males are the new pinata for the mass media--what blasphemy! I'm so sorry.... "
Yeah! White men are so downtrodden and persecuted anymore. They barely have power over anything; I mean, unless you count running most of the government, business, banking, entertainment, and religious organizations in this country. You can't really count those things, because white men have proven so incredibly effective at running them.
And its not like there is a long tradition of "black widow" stories and jokes in the media that this comedy skit is building on. Nope, this skit is plainly a threat to white men everywhere, and don't let the fact that it was probably written by white men and put on by a comedy troop owned and operated by white men fool you - that's just shows how insidious women and minorities are at making white men look bad.
Let's face it, men offing their wives is MUCH more hillarious, because people love violence against women jokes - it's a real crowd pleaser. Its just funnier when the stronger and more powerful kill or hurt the weaker. Having the weaker sex plotting to kill the stronger just isn't funny because it doesn't even make sense. White men should always be the ones doing the harming.
I guess it is a good thing white men are by nature secure in themselves and emotionally stable enough not to take it too seriously. It would suck to get upset by reading too much into a comedy skit, after all.
Posted by: Mysticdog | Oct 9, 2008 2:39:20 AM
Well, the one item I simply disagree with that is realatively new is possibly giving bailout money to California.
Look, these people have the power to tax individuals withing the state and also to lower the budget. There is no way the national government should even consider giving them money. Raise taxes or cut the budget.
Are they victims because they live in the state or what??
Posted by: Bruce in Tennessee | Oct 9, 2008 7:13:45 AM
luozhiyong, "electronic dollars" (credit) are being written off. That means there are "fewer zeros" on some balance sheets than last year around this time. Anytime you reduce the quantity of something, it becomes more valuable.
I thought the same thing, but total credit as reported by the Fed actually ROSE from 49.6 T to 51 T in 2Q08. Is the Fed reporting inaccurate? Are all the new Fed funding schemes just replacing private debt and the net effect is no drop in total credit? This "credit crisis" may actually be in the top of the first inning...total credit hasn't dropped on iota yet...so far it only saw an upcoming cliff and hit the brakes hard...we are still skidding to the cliff...will we fall off?
Posted by: Steve Barry | Oct 9, 2008 8:01:18 AM
QID Update:
Since I am called the QID King, here's what I'm doing:
It seems to be a bit ahead of itself. I would like it to move sideways a bit before the next move up. If it breaks through 80, 100 is a given. That's my gut check number, where I may decide enough is enough...pigs get slaughtered. The election will be key to this as well. I agree with Kudlow that if Obama gets elected, the market tanks, but for a different reason. Not because the market dislikes Obama, but because Team Bush will pull the plug on market life supports and PPT to make Obama look bad.
Posted by: Steve Barry | Oct 9, 2008 8:13:29 AM
@Mysticdog
If it takes five paragraphs to be snarky over a throw-away line, you're probably trying too hard.
Posted by: Mark W | Oct 9, 2008 10:54:03 AM
