Sunday, August 10, 2003
Shrill Blonde Harpy
A request: There are some people who engage in ridiculous polemics, spew crass vitriol, and utter any venomous thoughts they can muster for the sole purpose of generating publicity to hawk whatever they happen to be whoring at that moment. Some of these figures actually make bile their career. Its practically on their business cards.
The blogosphere is filled with references to these imbeciles. By commenting, criticizing, even mocking the intellectual detritus, one incidentally legitimizes them.
The goal of uttering insupportable yet outrageous comments such as:
We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianityis simply to generate publicity and hence increase book sales.
They have no true political agenda. They adopt extreme views because it generates "buzz," which in turn increases book sales, which of course, puts money in their pockets.
They are, in a word, whores.
Therefore, I propose the following: I say, lets thwart their evil plan. Let us no longer mention them by their given (also known as Christian) names. Like the movie BeetleJuice: as long as you don't say their name, they cannot appear.
I HEREBY DECLARE THAT I SHALL NOW REFER TO HER WHOSE NAME WE DARE NOT SPEAK AS:
THE SHRILL BLONDE HARPY.
Whenever I see the Shrill Blonde Harpy’s name mentioned in a blog, I shall encourage that writer to take a more indifferent approach.
It is important to understand that the opposite of love is not hate; It is indifference. Pick out the most heinous persona you can think of, and find a suitable substitute for their actual name. In the case of some of these media whores, including the Shrill Blonde Harpy, this process will take some time. SBH still has a few seconds to burn off her 15 minutes of fame. Cold turkey, simply stop.
Heres what this will look like:
The Trouble With the Shrill Blonde Harpy
My Lunch with Shrill Blonde Harpy II
(apparently, Shrill Blonde Harpies are a voracious lot)
Pick your own intellectually vapid liar and go to town! It doesn't matter if they are left or right -- Michael Moore, Geraldo, Bill O'Reilly, Bill Maher -- find someone who's utterly whoring existence offends every fibre of your being -- and denude them of name. My short list above consists of merely annoying people, who do not reach the level of the Shrill Blonde Harpy in my book -- but perhaps they do in yours! Let me know, and I'll strike their name out for you!
On behalf of sentient creatures everywhere, you will have earned the Universe's undying gratitude.
Start denuding . . .