Monday, July 19, 2004

Amazon.com Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

Here's a fun game... First, look up the most popular and critically-acclaimed books, movies, and music on Amazon. Click on "Customer Reviews," and sort them by "Lowest Rating First." Hilarity ensues! It's the Amazon.com Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

Post your own favorites in the comments!

Here's a fun game... First, look up the most popular and critically-acclaimed books, movies, and music on Amazon. Click on "Customer Reviews," and sort them by "Lowest Rating First." Hilarity ensues! It's the Amazon.com Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

via Waxy

Miles Davis, "Kind of Blue" "This is one of the worst albums I've ever bought. It's so boring and lifeless. Good to fall asleep to." "its boredom,nostalgia and scarcely concealed contempt make it the perfect background music for this narcissistic age of ours." "I found Mr. Davis' playing to be laughable at best. Finally, it's irritating; and confusing that so many people laud it." Abbey Road I bought this album because I totally thought the guy on the right was Kate Hudson's husband. So I mean, I THOUGHT I was scoring some QUALITY stoner grooves or like, something kinda White Stripey.

Dude, was I wrong.

Like, are there ANY phat beats on this thing? Um, NO--I heard they don't tour at all--I bet they can't dance, 'cause not one of their boy band harmonies has a kickin' beat behind it, so what's the point?

And what's with the look? I mean, dude, hit a gymn already, and like, catch Queer Eye like even once, and get some product in your hair.

And those lyrics...they don't take it from the streets to the suburbs (props to Eminem) or the suburbs to the suburbs (shout out to tha Kid)--in fact THEY DON'T RAP AT ALL. I Want You (She's So Heavy)--I mean, sure we all want the hot girl, but do you have to make the other girl who's fat feel bad by telling her that? Too cold. And what's with Carry That Weight--is the guy going with the fat girl after all, or has he gotten fat himself? Confusing. Give Me "your body is a wonderland" any day.

Speaking of heavy, forget slammin' tracks--these guys are ENGLISH, so they don't hit it like like Korn or Limp Bizkit or Phantom Planet. And okay, yeah, Sun King was kind of cool to chill to, but it would be better if it lasted like, twenty minutes with the same downbeats going all the way through--you can't get halfway through your doobie before the song is like, over. And Polythene Pam right after? Freaked me out, man.

So, in summary, check out a real band like Incubus.

posted by par on July 2, 2004 12:20 AM

There are 100s of reviews, and some are utterly hysterical . . .

Posted at 05:09 AM in Books, Film, Humor, Music | Permalink

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