Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Ever wonder why golf is so popular?

even though golf bores me to tears (its watching grass grow -- literally -- with an overlay of frustration), I still found this terribly amusing . . . 

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Ever wonder why golf is growing in popularity, and why people who don't even play the game go to professional tournaments or watch it on TV? The following may shed some light:

(1) Golf is an honorable game, with the overwhelming majority of professional players being honorable people who don't need referees.

(2) Pro golfers don't have some of their players in jail every week.

(3) Pro golfers don't kick dirt on, or throw bottles at, other people.

(4) Pro golfers are paid in direct proportion to how well they play.

(5) Pro golfers don't get per diem and two seats on a charter flight when they travel between tournaments.

(6) Pro golfers don't hold out for more money, or demand new contracts, because of another player's deal.

(7) Pro golfers don't demand that the taxpayers pay for the courses on which they play.

(8) When pro golfers make a mistake, nobody is there to cover for them or back them.

(9) The PGA raises more money for charity in 1 year than the NFL does in 2.

(10) You can watch the best pro golfers in the world up close, at any tournament, including the majors, all day every day for $25 or $30.

(11) The cost for even a nosebleed seat at the Super Bowl costs around $300 or more unless you buy it from scalpers in which case it's $1,000+.

(12) You can bring a picnic lunch to the tournament golf course, watch the best in the world and not spend a small fortune on food and drink. Try that at one of the taxpayer funded baseball or football stadiums. If you bring a soft drink into a ballpark, they'll give you two options - get rid of it or leave.

(13) In pro golf you cannot fail 70% of the time and make $9 million a season, like the best baseball hitters (.300 batting average) do.

(14) Pro golf doesn't change its rules to attract fans.

(15) Pro golfers have to adapt to an entirely new playing area each week.

(16) Pro golfers keep their clothes on while they are being interviewed.

(17) Pro golf doesn't have free agency.

(18) In their prime, Palmer, Norman, and other stars, would shake your hand and say they were happy to meet you. In his prime Jose Canseco wore T-shirts that read "Leave Me Alone."

(19) You can hear birds chirping on the golf course during a tournament.

(20) At a golf tournament, (unlike at taxpayer-funded sports stadiums and arenas) you won't hear a steady stream of four letter words and nasty name calling while you're hoping that no one spills beer on you.

(21) Tiger hits a golf ball over twice as far as Barry Bonds hits a baseball.

(22) Golf courses don't ruin the neighborhood.

(23) Why do golf courses have 18 holes---not 20, or 10, or an even dozen? During a discussion among the club's membership board at St. Andrews in 1858, a senior member pointed out that it takes exactly 18 shots to polish off a fifth of Scotch. By limiting himself to only one shot of Scotch per hole, the Scot figured a round of golf was finished when the Scotch ran out.

Posted at 11:13 AM in Humor | Permalink

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Comments

The remarkable thing is that almost all of these points are untrue!

Posted by: dsquared | Jan 27, 2005 2:43:55 AM

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