Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The other night I was sitting home watching a Tivo of Stump the Schwab on ESPN and just about nodding off when suddenly someone began pounding on my front door like I owed them money. It would be hard to overstate my surprise when I opened the door and Ann Coulter pushed past me, smelling of alcohol and Nicorette gum. She had already taken off her sweater and shoes before I remembered to close the door.

‘Nice to be back here at the Fortress of Decrepitude. Bet not many ladies come here twice.' She shook her head. 'Have I missed you,’ she sighed, glancing toward me.

‘I’m..flattered..’

‘I’m not talking to you,’ she spat, ‘I’m talking to your cock. Bet you never thought you’d see me again.’

‘Not without being able to change the channel, no..’

‘Well get out of that ridiculously too young for you Abercrombie & Fitch t-shirt, say goodbye to 1998 and lose the cargo pants, and get ready to stuff the only thing interesting about you into the sloppy end of my digestive tract.’

‘Which end is that?’

She didn’t appreciate my making this admittedly small joke. She stepped up to me with rising anger, and I had the small adrenaline rush that precedes a fistfight. But instead of hitting me, she said through clenched teeth:

‘I came here to chew gum and have Liberal cock slammed into me.’ She spit her gum onto my floor.

‘And I’m all out of gum. We clear?’

I flinched.

‘Yes.’ I reproached myself for looking away, unable to meet her menacing gaze. She resumed taking off her clothes.

‘Don’t you want to, I don’t know, talk politics?’

‘You think you’ve got me all figured out in that box of shit you keep balanced on your neck, don’t you?’

‘Well I think I have an idea what flips your bingo switch, yeah, so if you want to discuss..’

‘No need. I listened to Clinton’s ’92 acceptance speech in the car. I’m as horny as the hat rack at a Viking bar.’ She stood naked and impatient before me. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘I’m a little freaked out by your hip bones’

‘I still weigh what I did Freshman year at Cornell,’ she said proudly.

‘Have you eaten since?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean hit a buffet. Get some plates dirty. Seriously.’

She fixed me with a hot stare. ‘It’s not how the meat bounces on the girl; it’s how the girl bounces on the meat.’

‘Could we, like, kiss or something?’

‘Aw,’ she said tartly, ‘isn’t that sweet. You want to kiss me on the mouth.’

‘Yeah, I would.’

‘Well I’m a little picky about who I let kiss me, Libby. Now, how’s about sticking your fuckmeat up my ass?’ I felt beaten.

‘OK, OK..’

‘Now, don’t be like that. Listen, do you know what it means when someone says put it in slowly and gently?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good. Then do it the exact opposite of that,’ she said, smearing lotion on my uterus poker. She noticed what must’ve been my glum look, rolled her eyes and sighed. ‘OK, what do you think of the war on activist judges legislating from the bench, Libby?’

I perked up.

‘I think lackey judges legislate from the bench too, the Administration just prefers their decisions.’
‘Pat Robertson thinks activist judges pose a greater threat to America than terrorists,’ she said smugly.

‘I read that. Well, he’s a man who believes Adam & Eve had three sons and populated the Earth, he must be right.’

‘Anti-Religious rhetoric. That’s hot.’

‘I’m not anti-religion. I come from religious people that I love very much.’

'You just think you’re smarter.'

‘I just think if anyone wants to live in a democratic fundamentalist theocracy, they should move to Iraq. They’ll have one soon enough.’

‘Do you like Football?’ she asked eagerly.

‘Uh, I guess..’

‘Good,’ she said, climbing atop my pool table and waving her ass in the air like a rapper without a care, ‘then tell your Brown Bay Packer it’s kickoff time.’

Knocks rattled my front door. I recognized my friends' voices.

‘Who is that?’ she hissed.

I listened at the door.

‘It’s Tim and David and someone else.’

‘Jesus, it’s always a social program with you people, isn’t it?’

‘I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting them. Or you.’

‘Well answer it,’ she said, sitting on the pool table. I wanted her to not get her slime on the felt, but I thought better of asking. I opened the door to see Tim, David and John Cusack. He was really good looking in person.

‘Hey guys,’ I said anxiously.

‘Let us in,’ said Tim, ‘Redd Kross is going to be on Letterman in a couple minutes.’

‘Hold on a sec,’ I said, closing the door. I turned to report. ‘It’s Tim, David and John Cusack. They want to come in and watch Redd Kross on Letterman.’

‘Never mind. How did they vote?’

‘Uh, Tim and David voted for Kerry, if they voted. I think John Cusack was active in the Nader campaign, wasn’t he?’

Her eyes narrowed slyly. ‘Let them in.’

I opened the door again.

‘Hey, you guys want to help me fuck Ann Coulter?’

Then we were all up on the pool table surrounding Ann Coulter. David was stationed by her head, Tim and John Cusack were at her either hand, and I was positioned familiarly between the backs of her legs as she crouched like a supplicant before me. Taking aim as I prepared to bust into her shit-shack with my splattering ram, looking at her slavering, pulsing crap valve, which for an instant seemed to wink at me like an old friend, I realized that from this angle, we’re all the same. Sure, some of us think the best way to confront terrorism is by falsifying grounds for war and creating the greatest recruitment drive for young men willing to die in the name of Islam since the Crusades, and some of us do not. Some of us advocate teaching ‘Intelligent Design’ in the classroom alongside Evolution and hope someday Astronomy classes will give the Bible teaching that the Earth is the center of the Universe equal time with the scurrilous notion that we actually orbit the Sun, and some of us do not. Some of us believe the poor and helpless in a civilized society are entitled to nothing more--and can benefit from nothing more--than contempt, and some of us do not. Some of us believe that a 13 year-old girl should be required to deliver the child of incestuous rape, and some of us do not. Some of us believe that if childbirth threatens her life, any doctor who ends her pregnancy is a murderer, and this fact should rightfully be brought to the attention of his children and their fourth grade classmates, and some of us do not. But when you get right down to it, and contemplate our assholes, we’re really all the same.

‘One thing before we get started,’ Ann Coulter said, pulling her hair back in a pony tail, ‘I don’t want to catch any of you life-partners holding hands while you’re stabbing me, OK?’

We all nodded in consent, and began tunneling.

For those of you who have never tried 5-person sex, it’s a little trickier than you might think. With the guest of honor buffeted at all sides, until everyone works in a kind of sync, it’s a little like trying to fuck a mechanical bull. I found myself wrenched out mid-stroke and made the mistake of satisfying my curiosity, glancing down at her ham-trap. It looked more like an exit wound than any baby-wallet I’d ever seen before. Was this a surgeon’s handiwork?

In an instant she kicked her heels up powerfully against my backside, and driving me forward, caught me again in her yawning fudge mine. I felt slightly seasick, but on either side of her David and I had achieved the sort of rhythm that allows two-man saw teams to do their work efficiently.

My head was spinning. I noticed all of us around Ann had kept our socks on, and wondered what that was about. I felt really weird doing this in front of my friends. Everyone kept their eyes to themselves, like men at the open urinal troughs in the Dodger Stadium bathrooms. I was thinking about how cool it was to have John Cusack over, and how much I liked Grosse Pointe Blank. Judging by the way he casually smoked a cigarette, I guessed he had sex this way all the time.

Ann Coulter was swaying in a gentle clockwise motion, accommodating all of the thrusts around her in a smooth sequence. She stopped suddenly and snapped at me over her shoulder.
‘Hey back there—fuck it like you dig chicks, wouldya sport?’

The guys snickered.

‘We can trade places if you’re not up to it,’ John Cusack sort of drawled disdainfully at me. Now I felt really uncomfortable.

‘He can do it,’ she half-mocked, half-defended me. ‘Now, I want you to turn my ass-snatch into a one-man mosh pit. Comprende?’

She went back to bouncing David’s scrotum off of her chin. With my renewed effort, the gentle circuit her body was making became quickened and jerky. She didn’t seem to mind, moaning in muffled pleasure like a mental deficient with too much cake in his mouth. She began to hum something familiar that caught our attention, especially David’s, since she was humming it on what he referred to as his "pink floyd." Tim began to sing along:

‘If it takes just a little while..open your heart, and look at the day,’ the rest of us joined in slowly, ‘you’ll see things in a different way. Don’t, Stop, thinking about tomorrow..’

She convulsed spasmodically in orgasm as our rendition grew louder. Over our chorus, Ann Coulter could be heard making horrible noises, like a pterodactyl being disemboweled.

‘It’ll soon be here. It’ll be better than before; yesterday’s gone, yesterday’s gone..’
With her whole body shuddering in paroxysms of ecstasy, the pace got really hectic. As she caromed wildly like a pinball caught between four double-bonus bumpers, I sensed things were about to get soupy.

‘Uhhhhhggg..yeah!’ David gasped triumphantly.

Along with him, Tim and John Cusack were nearing their own scrotum-lightening, Coulter-whitening experience. The terrific tempo at which she expertly beat them both made me think she could probably play the shit out of some bongos.

That’s when things began to go horribly wrong.

Ann Coulter’s slender frame, which had been so easily jostled between our various cum-muskets, suddenly became as fixed and immobile as Joe McCarthy’s tombstone. This was just registering in my mind when I heard David let out a high-pitched shriek. I looked up to see the terror on his face as suddenly he was being swung around, flailing helplessly like a stuffed animal in the mouth of a pit bull. Ann Coulter began to swell grotesquely, and she was suddenly a massive, armored confluence of rigid, steely muscle before me. She became covered with gruesome scales and sharp, bony protuberances. The air filled with a thunderous, guttural laugh, like a Shelby Cobra being gunned over and over. Her arms bulged powerfully and began to clench the penis in either hand with ungodly force. I watched in horror as Tim and John Cusack’s cocks burst in her hands, now taloned claws, like water balloons. They both, mercifully, passed out from either shock or pain. The beast that Ann Coulter had become clutched what remained of their genitals in either bloody hand like burst bladders. David was now hanging lifelessly from her maw, as though his skeletal structure had been sucked right out.

I tried to disengage but her heels, now burred hooves, again held me helplessly in place. Unthinkingly I screamed alternately for my mother and for Sweet Jesus as I became aware of something like a hand pulling me deep in the monster Ann Coulter's buttmouth, intent, and I felt sickly sure, capable of dragging me to the darkness within.

I awoke to the ringing of my telephone. I was sitting on my couch. Stump the Schwab was over, and Say Anything, starring John Cusack, was on. I began, with relief, to assemble my mind. I didn’t own a pool table. Tim was in Ireland. I hadn’t spoken to David in longer than I can remember. Redd Kross hadn’t put out an album in years. It was just a dream.

I rose to answer the persistent telephone.

‘Hello?’

‘Hello. Is this Bachem Macuno?’

‘Speaking,’ I rubbed my eyes. ‘Look, I don’t have a mortgage to refinance; I don’t know how I got on this list.’

‘This is Ann Coulter.’

‘Is it?" I said, unsettled. "Well, hello again.’

‘What do you mean, "again," you booger-twiddling imbecile?’

‘I mean..we’ve met.’

‘You mean in your little story.’

‘Story? It was an account of our afternoon.’

‘Yes, I’ve read it. Just because you’re piteously insignificant doesn’t mean you’ve escaped my notice.’

‘Well, it’s just that you make it sound like it didn’t happen.’

‘It didn’t.’

‘Uh, you know perfectly well it happened, as do I, owing to the fact that we were both there.’

‘If you think I can’t know something perfectly well and continue to argue the opposite, you’ve not very familiar with my work. Anyway, maybe you just dreamed the whole thing.’

Something in her voice gave me a chill up my spine.

‘Hey, you’re free to regard the account however you wish.’

There was a considered pause.

‘I see you’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback,’ she conceded.

‘People have been probably over-generous, yes. Look, I’m not naïve; I know that has more to do with you than it does with me.’

‘It doesn’t matter what Liberals think. Two things they never remember to do. 1. Shut up. 2. Vote.’

‘That’s probably good news to people who misconstrue a 3% differential to be a mandate.’

‘Still, that praise has got to be pretty heady for a failed TV writer.’

‘I’m not a failed TV writer. I’m a failing TV writer. There’s a difference.’

‘They both make the same amount of money.’

‘Did you call for any particular reason?’

‘Did I wake you?’ she intoned knowingly.

‘Seriously. What do you want?’

‘I wondered if you watched the press conference last week.’

‘Yes, I did. Just, you know, to count how many times the leader of the free world said "nucular"’

‘You sneering elitists. It’s a regional thing. It’s just like the British saying ‘aluminium’’

"Actually, the British say ‘aluminium’ because they spell it ‘aluminium’. Is there a dictionary with ‘nucular’ in it that I don’t know about?"

‘Come on, it’s folksy.’

‘It’s not folksy, it’s put on for faux-shitkicker appeal. The guy went to prep schools and Yale, it’s not like he doesn’t know better. It’s his aw-shucks anti-intellectualism signal flare saying "Hey dumb people, vote for me!"’

‘I’ve got to tell you, this is some of the most low-caliber phone sex I’ve ever had.’

‘I didn’t realize that’s what we were doing.’

‘Well clue the fuck in. Do I have to put it in bold type on the cover of Mother Jones?’

‘Alright, alright..well, I did like the President’s energy plan. I think supplying China with energy efficient technology is a good idea.’

‘Yes?’

‘Sure, once we get some. Maybe we can trade them the technology we don’t have for the technology they do have, like the breakthroughs they’re making and patenting in stem cell research.’

‘Ah, you object to the "Culture of Life"?’ she said, intrigued.

‘Seems like yesterday it was the "Culture of Vengeance," bragging about all the mentally retarded people he executed.’

Her breathing quickened. ‘People of faith believe life, and stem cells, are sacred.’

‘It was a lot easier when scientists could just be burned as heretics, huh?’

‘Uhnnnggghh,’ she gurgled on the other end of the line.

‘Are you touching yourself?’

‘I’m tapping my clit like a telegraph operator on biker speed. Continue!’

‘Hey, I totally respect people of faith making that determination for themselves. If they really feel that way, I hope they have the courage of their convictions. I hope they will, on principle, suffer and die from conditions Stem Cell research will be able to address once the breakthroughs are made. I hope they have the courage to resist Stem Cell advances and watch their loved ones suffer and die, and stay true to their principles. Otherwise, they’re just busybodies killing time between complaint letters to the FCC about any instance of language stronger than "dang." Otherwise, they should put their time and energy into baking a nice Mind Your Own Business-cake, with delicious Shut the Fuck
Up-frosting.’

‘Ahhhhrrgghh..’ she wheezed, ‘describe something degrading you’re doing to me.’

‘Ok, ok..I’m behind you with my dirty jockstrap pulled tight over your face and mouth like a bridle, and I’m yanking the waistband like reins.’

‘Yes! YES!’

‘I’m riding you over to the toilet..’

‘You can lead my horseface to water, but you can’t make me drink!’

‘Yes, but I can stick your head in the toilet and flush!’

‘Oh God! Oh GOD!!’

‘And I’m scrawling something on your ass with a sharpie.’

‘Uhhh..Ohhh..what are you writing?’

‘I’m writing..HILLARY IN 2008!!!’

She began huffing and grunting like a cow having a seizure. I could hear her strumming her clitoris like Earl Scruggs picking out Foggy Mountain Breakdown on the banjo. The sound of a woman having a tremendous climax is usually arousing to me, but I sat there in a grim mood, like I’d gotten bad news and was trying to grasp it. I waited, resigned, for her to regain her composure. She finally did.
‘Was it good for you?’ she said, catching her breath.

‘Not really.’

‘Good,’ she cackled. ‘You must really hate Conservatives, huh?’

‘Not really. I have close friends who are Conservatives. I’m not so threatened by people who disagree with me that I need to reduce them to cartoons to vilify, or hateful misrepresentations like Der Ewige Jude. There are people I disagree with that I respect quite a lot. Your shtick is calling anyone who disagrees with you to be shot for treason.’

‘Shtick?’

‘Well, you must know better. You’re just an entertainer. It’s a complicated world. If you can ease people’s confusion by presenting a preposterously oversimplified worldview where one side is all good and the other all evil, great for you. People don’t make the New York Times bestseller list writing considered, balanced analysis. People want an uncomplicated reality. There’s a nice living to be made in providing it to them. But I don’t think you really believe much of it, just like I doubt the Verizon guy walks around saying "Can you hear me now?" when he’s off-camera.’

‘I bet you think you’re pretty clever for a guy wearing cargo pants.’

‘I don’t think..how did you know what I’m wearing?’

‘Ha. What else would you be wearing?’

‘Look, you’ve had your fun. I’ve got to go.’

‘Fine. Go.’

‘Goodbye.’

‘Wait, Bachem..’ she called. I returned the receiver to my ear.

‘Yes?’

‘Enjoy the movie. And tell Tim and David I said no hard feelings.’

I dropped the phone and my mouth fell open in a silent, breathless scream. I heard familiar peals of dark laughter booming through the room, as the ground swirled beneath me and fell away from my feet.

posted by Bachem Macuno at 12:00 PM 105 comments 

Posted at 12:00 PM in Humor, Politics | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Very cool stuff from Tim Biskup:

click for larger graphic

Posted at 09:39 AM in Art & Design | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Via the FUH2 site, an amusing video revealing the Hummer's not-so-awesome Off-Road capabilities . . .

Check out the front wheels!

How did they ever tow it outta there? Probably with a Jeep!

Posted at 06:58 AM in Automobiles | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

The Veil nebula, NGC 6995/IC 1340, in the Cygnus Loop

via the Anglo-Australian Observatory

Posted at 09:15 AM in Science | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The picture below are from a beach in Maryland. (pretty awesome) The man creates new ones each day, as the ocean washes away his work every day:

Sayeth Chuck Ritchey, Sr.:

"I have watched this man work on the beach at Ocean City, Maryland. Each time I watch him I marvel at his talent and fortitude because it is true that his works get washed away with the tide and he does them again."

I would say what he does qualifies as religous fervor.

Posted at 11:12 AM in Art & Design | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Wicked Cool Clouds:

click for larger photo

via boingboing

Posted at 09:44 AM in Science | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I can't tell if they are real or photoshopped, but they are amusing nonetheless . . .

click for larger photos

Posted at 08:17 AM in Automobiles, Design, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wicked cool looking:

Forbes: "The global theme park industry takes its fun seriously. 

In 2005 alone, more than 100 new attractions have opened or been announced to open worldwide. The amusement industry is strong and growing at a steady rate," she explains. "What limits what is created for the industry is just two things. One: physics. Two: the imagination of the designers and engineers."

How much imagination? In New Jersey, Six Flags Great Adventure recently debuted the 456-foot high Kingda Ka, which is billed as the world's fastest and tallest roller coaster. Its hydraulic launch propels the train out of the gates at 128 miles per hour and then through a 270-degree loop, making passengers feel weightless. The roller coaster has a dual-loading station that allows four trains to simultaneously load and unload on two separate tracks, a peak horsepower of 7,400 and can accommodate 1,400 people per hour."

The Top Ten Most-Attended Amusement/Theme Parks Worldwide, 2004
(compiled by Economic Research Associates)

1. Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World, Lake Buena Vista, Fla.: 15,170,000
2. Disneyland, Anaheim, Calif.: 13,360,000
3. Tokyo Disneyland, Tokyo, Japan: 13,200,000
4. Tokyo Disney Sea, Tokyo, Japan: 12,200,000
5. Disneyland Paris, Mame-La-Vallee, France, 10,200,000
6. Universal Studios, Japan, Osaka, Japan: 9,900,000
7. Epcot at Walt Disney World, Lake Buena Vista, Fla.: 9,400,000
8. Disney-MGM Studios Theme Park at Walt Disney World, Lake Buena Vista, Fla.: 8,260,000
9. Lotte World, Seoul, South Korea: 8,000,000
10. Disney's Animal Kingdom at Walt Disney World, Lake Buena Vista, Fla.: 7,820,000

Amazing that 8 of the 10 most attended Amusement Parks are Disney!

>

Source:
World's Most Fun Amusement Parks 2005
Sophia Banay
Forbes, June 2005
http://www.forbes.com/travel/2005/05/26/cx_sb_0526feat.html
>

Posted at 05:53 AM in Design, Science, Travel | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I still love Superdawg in Chicago, but there's some damned good dogs in NY. Check out this great NYT article on Hot Dogs Wednesday:

"So what constitutes a great hot dog? To me, it's a grilled, kosher-style frank served on a lightly toasted bun with slightly spicy mustard and a homemade onion or pickle relish that is neither too sweet nor too hot. The Old Town Bar on East 18th Street not only toasts the bun that encases its grilled natural-casing all-beef Sabrett dog, it butters it as well. Sublime! Sauerkraut is also fine atop my dogs, though every once in a while I crave one prepared Southern style, with cole slaw. My ideal dog should fit neatly into its bun, sticking out by at most an inch on each end.

The New York-style hot dog I love has been around for well over a hundred years. According to Arthur Schwartz, author of "New York City Food" (Stewart, Tabori & Chang, 2004), in the 1870's a German immigrant named Charles Feltman opened his octagonal Ocean Pavilion beer garden on West 10th Street and Surf Avenue in Coney Island and sold frankfurters on buns by the thousands. Feltman had an employee, Nathan Handwerker, who, egged on by his famous friends Jimmy Durante and Eddie Cantor, opened a cheaper hot dog stand in 1916 that catered to the many poor and working-class people frequenting Coney Island."

Source:
It's All in How the Dog Is Served
By ED LEVINE
NYT, May 25, 2005
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/25/dining/25dogs.html

Posted at 02:34 PM in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Way cool:

click for larger photo

Source: NYT

NYT: 

"Mr. Barris's imagination is not frozen in the postwar hot-rod mind-set. After fans of the original Pontiac GTO complained about the bland styling of the revived version that General Motors began selling in 2004, Keith Crain, publisher and editor in chief of Automotive News, a trade paper, suggested that Mr. Barris could have done better. So the customizer turned out his own vision of the GTO, using a car provided by G.M., that was shown in March at the Amelia Island concours in Florida.

If not tangerine, the show car is at least burnt orange in color, and reflects contemporary customizing trends with doors that swing up to open. Mr. Barris imagined the GTO as it would have looked if annual model changes progressed since the 1970's in the classic Detroit mode. "The idea was to do the car as if it had been evolving all along," he said."

Barris also had a hand in a few other beauties at his site.
(See below for more photos)

>

Source:
Updating the Tangerine-Flake Baby
PHIL PATTON
AUTONS ON MONDAY | DESIGN
Published: May 23, 2005
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/23/automobiles/23CARS.html?
>

Other snaps
(click for larger graphic)

The Hirohata Mercury, a seminal Barris custom.

Madonna’s Auburn from "Dick Tracy."

THE EMPEROR: WORLD'S MOST BEAUTIFUL ROADSTER

Cosma Ray:  A 1968 Corvette custom styling concept by Barris Kustom City

Posted at 08:36 AM in Automobiles, Design | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I have no idea whether the dude offed his wife or not.

But if that's an unretouched picture (via the Albany Times Union),than the dude should go to jail on hair styling alone.

click for larger window

>

Source:
Spector's past gun play to figure in trial
Alex Veiga
Associated Press,  8:26 a.m., Tuesday, May 24, 2005
http://timesunion.com/AspStories/storyprint.asp?StoryID=363403

Posted at 03:23 PM in Humor, Photo Caption Contest! | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

San Francisco: Baghdad by the Bay is a fascinating mapping experiment by Paula Levine.

In it, she superimposes the initial aerial assault on Baghdad from March 2003 -- over San Francisco. Although its strictly from GPS and web based maps -- there are no renderings of San Fran in ruins -- it is obviously disturbing. After a few minutes, you will want to click the green "stop bombing" button so as to avoid the horrific nonstop noise.

Baghdad <> San Francisco is the first project of the Shadows From Another Place series of hypothetical mappings which use GPS to imagine the impact of cultural and political changes that take place in one location upon another.

Note: The name "Baghdad by the Bay" came from Chronicle Columnist Herb Caen.

Click around the site -- there is a forum developing that is just starting to see some traction . . .

>

via Urban Cartography

Posted at 06:00 AM in Art & Design, Politics, War/Defense, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Too beautiful:

click for larger photo

le blog exuberance writes:

High up in the San Gabriel Mountains, overlooking the San Gabriel Valley, sits the 150-Foot Solar Tower at Mt. Wilson Observatory. You can get a live image from their webcam on this page. Way cool.

very cool snap, via le blog exuberance

Posted at 07:29 PM in Photo Caption Contest! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Why?

Das Keyboard

Can someone explain this to me?  Thanks

>

Posted at 04:12 PM in Design, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Fabulous graphic on the front page of the NYT Week in Review section by Knickerbocker, Christoph Niemann and Brian Rea.

Its one of those things that works even better on newspaper pages than digitally:

The gray line background, the almost superimposed quality of the fighting fools -- temporary residents damaging the pre-existing location -- has almost an ethereal quality to it:

click for larger graphic

courtesy of NYT

Source: 
The Senate Nears the Point of No Return
Jeffrey Rosen
May 22, 2005
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/05/22/weekinreview/22rosen.html

Posted at 07:54 AM in Current Affairs, Humor, Politics | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

HBO's show Deadwood, known for its salty language, has spawned a unique web following: The running Deadwood F*ck Counter.

 

Total f*cks in series:  1837
        Cumulative series FPM:  1.48

  Total f*cks in  Season Two:  1006
        Average f*cks per episode:  91.5
        Cumulative Season Two FPM:  1.77

 

Total f*cks in Season One:  831
          Average f*cks per episode:  69.3
          Cumulative Season One FPM:  1.23

Total number of f-bombs so far? 1837 or 1.48 F*cks per minute.
If that's not enough for you, there's a cumulative c*cksucker count.
And, you can even combine the two:

The last show had a f*ck to c*cksucker Ratio of 9.5 : 1.

Now thats entertainment!  (Lets hear it for mathematics)

via Bradley's Almanac

Posted at 08:19 PM in Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

>

>

Posted at 10:41 AM in Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The filibuster debate, as demonstrated by the graphic below, is a big lie.

What's really at stake is Rehnquist's seat. With the Chief Justice in God's waiting room, this manuever is a pretty transparent attempt ast positioning before the event comes up. If the President nominates a far right extremist, they want to be positioned as having a response  to the Dems' objections.

Here's the filibuster reality:   

click for larger graphic

>

UPDATE: May 19, 2005 9:05 pm

via David Galbraith:  "Examine the numbers and the reality of the current Senate standoff looks quite different from the spin. On the face of it, it looks like it is the Democrats that are being stubborn by threatening to filibuster judicial nominees.

The reality: The numbers show something different, the Senate agreed to approve all but 1.5% of judicial nominees, and the Republicans are threatening to change one of the fundamental checks and balances on government to have things 100% instead of 98.5% their own way.

"Since Bush took office, he has made 218 judicial nominations and the Senate has confirmed 208 of them. Ten, including Owen, failed to win confirmation because of Democratic filibusters. Seven of those 10 were renominated at the start of this year. Of those seven, Democrats have indicated that they would be willing to confirm as many as four to avoid the showdown."

David Galbraith Weblog
http://www.davidgalbraith.org/archives/000811.html#000811

>
Also, see Doc Steven L. Taylor (PoliSci Prof at Troy University) of Poliblogger also has additional analytical data, looking at a century worth of appointments . . .

>

Sources:
NYT, May 19, 2005
Created by Sarah Binder, Alan Murphy and Forrest Maltzman
Sarah Binder is a senior fellow and Alan Murphy is a senior research assistant at the Brookings Institution. Forrest Maltzman is a professor of political science at George Washington University.

Neither side blinks as Senate starts debate on judicial nominees
JILL ZUCKMAN
Chicago Tribune, Posted on Wed, May. 18, 2005
http://www.sanluisobispo.com/mld/sanluisobispo/news/politics/11681193.htm

>

Posted at 11:11 AM in Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

click for video

>

A terrific spoof by some Norwegian Soldiers in Kosovo, having fun and making a music video using  the old '80s hit Kokomo.

The video is very well done and pretty funny.

>

via GMSV

>

Posted at 09:39 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Introduction to Detecting Lies, via blifaloo

Good post over at blifaloo, on how to tell when you are being BS'd.  

"The following techniques to telling if someone is lying are often used by police, and security experts. This knowledge is also useful for managers, employers, and for anyone to use in everyday situations where telling the truth from a lie can help prevent you from being a victim of fraud/scams and other deceptions."

The post breaks down "tells into 5 categories, or "signs of deception." They are:

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction
Body Language of Lies
Interactions and Reactions
Verbal Context and Content
Other signs of a lie

My favorite of the list were these:

Emotional Gestures & Contradiction

• Timing and duration of emotional gestures and emotions are off a normal pace. The display of emotion is delayed, stays longer it would naturally, then stops suddenly.

• Timing is off between emotions gestures/expressions and words. Example: Someone says "I love it!" when receiving a gift, and then smile after making that statement, rather then at the same time the statement is made.

• Gestures/expressions don’t match the verbal statement, such as frowning when saying “I love you.”

• Expressions are limited to mouth movements when someone is faking emotions (like happy, surprised, sad, awe) instead of the whole face. For example; when someone smiles naturally their whole face is involved: jaw/cheek movement, eyes and forehead push down, etc.
 

Check out the full post here:  blifaloo

Posted at 09:22 AM in Humor, Science | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Everyday on the train to work, I pass thru Albertson, an unassuming suburban town 40 minutes outside of Manhattan.

One day, just outside of the Albertson train platform, a decrepit firetruck appeared. Then another, and another, and pretty soon, an entire graveyard of old Hook and Ladders and other equiptment had formed.

I got over there last week and took some digital snaps. I'd really like to get closer, and shoot the equipment, dashboards, etc.

>

Source:
Firetruck Graveyard
http://bigpicture.typepad.com/photos/firetruck_graveyard/

Posted at 09:04 AM in Design | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

No, not that kinda glory hole -- a spillway!

The Glory Hole spillway on Lake Berryessa, California.

click for larger photo

Thats the view at "low tide"


click for larger photo

And the view while its doping what it was designed for (pretty cool).

There's a full article on how this thing got made at Trophy Bass Only

>

Posted at 01:56 PM in Photo Caption Contest! | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

>
>
I gotta get me some!

POOP-FREEZE™ is a specially formulated aerosol freeze spray that, upon contact, forms a frosty film on dog poop (or cat poop) to harden the surface for easy pick-up. POOP-FREEZE is a great companion to a pooper scooper for clean fast dog poop or cat poop disposal.

>
POOP-FREEZE
http://www.poop-freeze.com/

>

>

UPDATE: August 2, 2005 10:47pm
boingboing points (via We make money not art) to this winning student entry from China for a product Art and Design competition, sponsored by British Aerosol Manufacturers' Association. (I'm not sure if its the product or the artwork that won)

Remarkably similar concept. Apparently, freezing dog poo via liquid nitrogen is a universally good idea on either side fo the planet . . .

Posted at 07:01 PM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Is this a new trend? R-rated videos supporting songs.

Here's one from Louis XIV for the song Paper Dolls from their 2005 Album, The Best Little Secrets are Kept, featuring the Suicide Girls.

via fimoculus

>

Here's what the CD case looks like:

Posted at 07:03 AM in Film, Music, Television, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Little Slow presents:

click for larger graphic

via boing boing

Posted at 02:24 PM in Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This group is doing studies in mouse behavior
click for larger photo

I'll help with the dishes!
click for larger photo

ahhh, but there's more!

I gotta get this sprinkler pointing in the right direction!
click for larger photo

This Mouse needs some work
click for larger photo

You want me to shave what?
click for larger photo

I'm on a hunger strike!
click for larger photo

Posted at 08:54 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

You may think they sleep curled up in the corner, but they are actually pretty busy:

They lounge in the Pool
click for larger photo

Do some personal grooming
click for larger photo

Enjoy a cool breeze
click for larger photo

ahhh, but there's more!

They do some plumbing, here we see a break in the work:
click for larger photo

Some pets just chill out with a brew in front of the Tube (I assume this is a male cat)
click for larger photo

Some pets play with the PC
click for larger photo

Posted at 08:43 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

>
Very cool collection of Jack Johnson live, acoustic and video versions of music, courtesy of Rolling Stone magazine on-line.  (Note: This requires Real Player).

Jack Johnson

Times Like These (Live) RS Original ARTIST:  Jack Johnson ALBUM:  Rolling Stone Original LABEL:  Universal Music Group   No Other Way (Live) RS Original ARTIST:  Jack Johnson ALBUM:  Rolling Stone Original LABEL:  Universal Music Group   Sitting, Waiting, Wishing (Live) RS Original ARTIST:  Jack Johnson ALBUM:  Rolling Stone Original LABEL:  Universal Music Group   Banana Pancakes (Live) RS Original ARTIST:  Jack Johnson ALBUM:  Rolling Stone Original LABEL:  Universal Music Group   Sitting, Waiting, Wishing ARTIST:  Jack Johnson ALBUM:  In Between Dreams LABEL:  Universal Music Group   Flake ARTIST:  Jack Johnson ALBUM:  Brushfire Fairytales LABEL:  Enjoy Records

Very cool stuff -- there's a huge library of stuff at Rolling Stone.com

Its a very under-utilized resource for Music Fans, sonme  of whom think a dead tree magazine is passe. They have an enormous library of free music, videos, etc. 

Check 'em out.

Posted at 08:13 AM in Finance, Music, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wow-- thats some traffic those boingboingers throw off off:

That's about 3000 hits per hour -- total for the day (at least as of 10:47pm EST) was 32,091

e&e typically gets 2,000 or so a day . . .

Posted at 10:16 AM in Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

We previously posted some wild Sand Sculptures here and here. Now, we see boingboing pointed to another wild creation of sand and water at strangecosmos:

click for larger photo

Australian sand sculptures here. 

Posted at 06:23 AM in Design |