Sunday, December 25, 2005
A parody of the War on Christmas nonsense:
"What's this empire coming to? Now they want us to stop greeting people with "Io, Saturnalia"! "We have all these different cultures in Rome", they tell us. "We shouldn't offend anyone", they tell us. "We should be inclusive."
"We've got the barbarians from the north with their tree decorations and their fire rituals. And the weirdos from Gaul, cutting mistletoe with a golden sickle. And the Mithraists, the Zoroastrians, the Isis cults, and, of course, those characters who hang out in the catacombs. "Hail, Winter!" we're supposed to say. I ask you, what next: we lose the feast? We stop the Solstice parties? No more honoring Ops, goddess of abundance?
"I was buying some candles and greenery down by the Forum the other day, and there's old Macrobius with some Visigoth chick, and she goes, "Gut Jule". So I go, "Hey! In this country, we say, "Io, Saturnalia! Maybe you should go back to where you came from." Then Macrobius goes, "She can't, she's a slave".
Have a PC Holiday, Ancient Rome-Style
National Public Radio, Weekend Edition - Sunday, December 18, 2005
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