This is ostensibly true email has been circulating to JPM/Chase senior management from a disgruntled employee:

Dear Co-Workers and Managers,

As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure it has been to type "Today is my last day."

For nearly as long as I've worked here, I've hoped that I might one day leave this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Words cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.

I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscommunication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with the sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man to attribute his mistake to me.

Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for and, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly identical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.

Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowing that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smiling his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expectation cigar. Thanks Trish!

And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, you will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.

But to those few souls with whom I've actually interacted, here are my personalized notes of farewell:

To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to apologize to him.

To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you as poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in my career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work was truly demoralizing.

To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Bad mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking about someone who knows your disgusting secrets.  ; )

To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from it. I still can't believe that after following your instructions, I ended up getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.

Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I'm happy that you were let go in the same manner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the phone last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never expected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of people but then again, with this company's rooted history in the slave trade it only makes sense.

To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite working through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I truly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded and acknowledged, it's a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the morale of this company.

So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary recipient ("because it's good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.

Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill myself.

To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-worker and will cherish our history together. Please don't bother responding as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows down listening to Biggie.

One!

Posted at 06:35 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A few amusing ditties about the Zune and iPhone:

Posted at 06:04 AM in Music, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

His Imperial Cheneyness:

Ben Sargent via Yahoo!

With this post, w add a new category:  Idiot!

Posted at 06:31 PM in Humor, Idiot!, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bob Dylan, the so-called voice of a generation, is actually repsonsible for every hit song of the past 35 years

Very, very funny:

via Super Deluxe

Posted at 06:06 AM in Humor, Music | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I hate to just lift a post from someone else -- thats so rookie. But Jesus H. Christopher Columbus, a pre-advert, then a top 10 list posted on 3 separate pages?

Can you say Advertising Whores? 

Anyway, here's the top 10.

If you can stomach the ads, the commentary is quite amusing. I wouldn't call these the greatest names --just the most amusing . . .

Top 10 Greatest Most Amusing Band Names

10. Y'All So Stupid

9. The Butthole Surfers

8. Pigmy Love Circus

7. Brian Jonestown Massacre

6. !!!
(the band has gone on record saying that it is pronounced "Chick-Chick-Chick.

5. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem

4. Camper Van Beethoven

3. The F@#king Champs

2. …And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead

1. Scraping Foetus Off The Wheel

Two of my own suggestions made the Honorable mention list:  The Dead Kennedys, Kathleen Turner Overdrive, Nashville P@ssy (See below for the rest)

Honorable Mentions

Fields of Nephilim
Stone Temple Pilots
Temple of the Dog
Fountains of Wayne
Mott the Hoople
Monks of Doom
Throwing Muses
Kathleen Turner Overdrive
Gnarls Barkley
The Dead Kennedys
Uriah Heep
Van Der Graaf Generator
Skinny Puppy
Roky Erickson and the 13th Floor Elevators
Nashville P@ssy
Southern Culture on the Skids
Cradle of Filth
Theory of a Deadman
Children of Bodom

Posted at 06:38 AM in Humor, Music | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Very amusing

Posted at 06:05 AM in Humor, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Amusing Take on the recent party affiliation changes:

Tom Toles via Yahoo!

Posted at 06:00 PM in Humor, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Excerpt:

In recent months, I sampled AMG’s four-alarm buffet in every imaginable style and portion, and my taste buds are still on fire. Among them was the E63, at first glance just another E-Class sedan, the Ford Taurus of upscale suburbia. Yet with 507 horsepower under its hood, the E63 is one of several Jekyll and Hyde AMGs. It can give that young hooligan at the stoplight in a Mustang a paddling he won’t forget — and then revert to being an upstanding citizen for a trip to the local boutiques.

Founded in 1967 as an independent racing shop specializing in Mercedes cars, AMG — it took its name from the initials of its founders, Hans-Warner Aufrecht and Erhard Melcher, and from Mr. Aufrecht’s birthplace of Grossaspach, Germany — the company used racing success as a springboard to develop speedy production Benzes. Its first American model arrived in 1995, the C36 AMG sedan.

And its philosophy of “one man, one engine,” with each power plant hand-assembled by a single technician, continues today.

>

Source:
AMG: Passcode to Absolute Power in a Mercedes-Benz
LAWRENCE ULRICH
NYT, June 17, 2007
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/17/automobiles/autoreviews/17AUTO.html

Posted at 06:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Music video for Help! from The Beatles

Posted at 07:46 AM in Music, The Beatles, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Clever!

This is a parody of all the "100" list specials that the American Film Institute keeps putting out. It's my first time working with video editing and my first YouTube post. Complete list at here:

Posted at 06:07 AM in Film, Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Insane NYT graphic/info-porn:

click for larger graphic

The source of this graphical mayhem is earl boykins

Posted at 06:18 AM in Design | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Funny video clips -- US and overseas:

Posted at 06:36 AM in Humor, Sports, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Astonishing:

click for larger graphic

via kottke

Posted at 06:26 AM in Film | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Too f&%^in' funny!

Posted at 06:16 AM in Humor, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Fascinating look at how mankind spread out from East Africa through the Middle East, Asia, Oceania, Europe, and the Americas over the past 150,000 years. Especially interesting are the interaction of migration and climate, and the effects of geological events, such as the eruption of Mt. Toba in Sumatra.

Posted at 06:53 AM in Science, Travel | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Long Tall Sally
Some Fun Tonite

The Beatles live at Palais du Sport, Paris - 20th June 1965

click for Video

Posted at 06:40 AM in Music, The Beatles, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hysterical:

Posted at 06:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tom Toles via Yahoo

Posted at 06:08 AM in Humor, Politics, War/Defense | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Very well done CG short movie, based on Star Wars universe, it's an Imperial propaganda commercial.

Via Cee-Gee.net

It tooks about one year to complete and features models made from scratch by myself. I've used 3DStudio 4.0, 3DStudio MAX 2.0/2.5, Media Studio 5.0, Autodesk Animator."

Posted at 06:18 AM in Film, Humor, SciFi | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Now THIS is an hysterical craigslist posting -- its the perfect post mortem for the strongest up day of 2007: 

Warning: This is not safe for work

click for craigslisting

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/ers/351342960.html

Posted at 05:32 PM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Posted at 06:09 AM in Photo Caption Contest! | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack

Funny:

Swear Jar

Posted at 06:32 AM in Food and Drink, Humor, Television | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position .

2: I'm not really out of the office. I'm just ignoring you.

3: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

4: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management

5: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

6: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

7: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.' (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).

8: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

9: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

10: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.

11: I've run away to join a different circus.

    AND, FINALLY, THIS ONE TAKES THE CAKE:

12: I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons.
When I return, please refer to me as ' Loretta' instead of 'Steve '

via email . . .

Posted at 06:15 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Rock and Roll Music
Everybody's Trying to be My Baby

The Beatles live at Palais du Sport, Paris - 20th June 1965

 click for video

Posted at 06:35 AM in Music, The Beatles, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hysterical:

Retired Gen. George Washington Criticizes Bush's Handling Of Iraq War

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Revolutionary War veteran noted that while Hussein was a tyrant, that alone did not justify a "conflict that seems without design or end."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/62432

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The Revolutionary War veteran noted that while Hussein was a tyrant, that alone did not justify a "conflict that seems without design or end."

Copy and paste this code into a new post in Blogger, MySpace, or any other blog tool. It will display this Onion headline, picture, and teaser copy on your page, depending on what you select above.

It's up to you to write the rest of the blog post.

Text This Headline

* Thousands More R Thousands More Dead In Continuing Iraq Victory December 18, 2006

WASHINGTON, DC—Breaking a 211-year media silence, retired Army Gen. George Washington appeared on NBC's Meet the Press Sunday to speak out against many aspects of the way the Iraq war has been waged.
Enlarge Image Gen. George Washington

Washington likens Vice President Cheney to controversial British Chancellor of the Exchequer and Stamp Act architect George Greenville.

Washington, whose appearance marked the first time the military leader and statesman had spoken publicly since his 1796 farewell address in Philadelphia, is the latest in a string of retired generals stepping forward to criticize the Iraq war.

"This entire military venture has been foolhardy and of ill design," said Washington, dressed in his customary breeches and frilly cravat. "The manifold mistakes committed by this president in Iraq carry grave consequences, and he who holds the position of commander in chief has the responsibility to right those wrongs."

Washington noted that while Saddam Hussein was an indefensible tyrant, that alone did not justify a "conflict that seems without design or end."

"The Iraqi people did suffer greatly under unjust rule," Washington said. "But in truth, it is the duty of any people that wishes to be free to fight for its own independence. Had France meddled in our revolution beyond the guidance and material assistance they provided, I should think similar unrest would have darkened our nation's earliest hours."
Enlarge Image CNN Retired Gen. Speaks Out

Washington made the cable news rounds, telling Wolf Blitzer that the war was a "tragic mistake for our nation."

The Virginia-born Revolutionary War veteran and national-capital namesake also expressed his worry over the state of the American militia, the unchecked powers of the executive branch, and the lack of a congressional declaration of war.

"The very genius of the American presidency is that it is an office held by an elected representative of the people, not by a monarch who can rule by fiat and enact policy at will," Washington said.

The retired general asserted that many of the current problems in Iraq could easily have been predicted by wiser civilian leadership.

"I can say from personal experience that even a malnourished force with feet clad in rags should not be underestimated, even by a far superior power," added Washington, who has disavowed further comparison between the Iraqi insurgency and the American colonists. "There is nothing a committed fighting force cannot accomplish if bolstered by the strength of its convictions."

Washington's critical comments echo those of other retired generals, including Maj. Gen. John Batiste and former NATO Supreme Allied Commander Wesley Clark, who attacked Bush's Iraq policy in a series of television ads run by political action committee VoteVets.org during the 2006 midterm elections.

"We're very happy that someone of General Washington's stature is speaking out," said Jon Soltz, cofounder and chairman of VoteVets.org. "He has impeccable conservative credentials, extensive foreign policy experience, is a true citizen-soldier with a proven commitment to his country, and, if that's not enough to get Bush to listen, he's the face on the dollar bill."

However, White House response to the former general's criticism was swift and sharp. Spokesman Tony Fratto dismissed Washington as "increasingly irrelevant" and "a relic" who "made some embarrassing gaffes" during his own military career, such as the Continental Army's near destruction in the Battle of Long Island in 1776.

"The general's reckless and irresponsible comments show that he clearly does not understand the realities of 21st-century warfare," Fratto said.

Conservative pundits moved quickly to discredit the decorated general.

"I don't care who you are—or if you cannot tell a lie—it's un-American to question the president in a time of war," Sean Hannity said on his radio program Monday. "Plus, I find it very interesting that a man who owned slaves and sold hemp thinks he's entitled to give our Commander in Chief lessons on how to run a war."

Toward the end of his Meet the Press interview, Washington expressed fears for the future of Iraq, Middle East policy, and America itself.

"These convoluted foreign adventures were not what I envisaged for my young nation," Washington said. "Certainly the citizens of the republic deserve better than this. Had I but known this was the fated course of my country, I might not have found the strength to liberate Her from the mantle of King George."

Posted at 06:36 AM in Current Affairs, Humor, Politics, War/Defense | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Graphics & Audio courtesy of NYT

“I think 1957 was a high-water mark for Ford design; Chrysler as well,” said Greg Wallace, manager of General Motors’ Heritage Center in Sterling Heights, Mich.

The enduring popularity, not to mention collectibility, of Chevrolet’s 1957 cars “speaks for itself,” he said, adding, “The ’57 Chevy was quite simply the best-looking car of the entire postwar era.”

It was a Golden Era, but a fleeting one. It would end before the year was out.

Fifty years ago, things were very different for the now-beleaguered Ford Motor Company. Ford’s 1957 lineup was all new for the first time in five years. The 21 models included a restyled Thunderbird sports car, a new generation of F-100 pickups, the car-based Ranchero pickup and the Fairlane 500 Skyliner — the first American convertible with a retractable hardtop. Sales were way up — so much that Ford outsold Chevrolet for the first time since 1935.

Together, Ford and Chevrolet accounted for fully half of American car production.

The public viewed the Chevys and their General Motors siblings as somewhat dowdy compared with competing 1957 cars. Critics derided the G.M. designs as passé because they were essentially makeovers of the 1955-56 models, with high rooflines, voluptuous fenders, short wheelbases and stubby overall lengths — the shoebox look favored by G.M.’s styling czar, Harley J. Earl."

Too cool . . .

>

Source:
Fifty, Finned and Fabulous
JERRY GARRETT
NYT, May 20, 2007
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/20/automobiles/collectibles/20FIFTY.html

Posted at 06:34 AM in Art & Design, Automobiles | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

How good is King James? In leading his team to the Finals, he's ALREADY racked up 10 moments worthy of a legitimate greatest hits list. Will he keep going against San Antonio? The prospect of new jams like his throwdowns at plays No. 3 and 1 already has Spurs fans shuddering. (by Cameron Smith) 2:36

King James:

Posted at 06:37 AM in Sports, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The blogosphere is the most explosive social network you’ll never see. Recent studies suggest that nearly 60 million blogs exist online, and about 175,000 more crop up daily (that’s about 2 every second). Even though the vast majority of blogs are either abandoned or isolated, many bloggers like to link to other Web sites. These links allow analysts to track trends in blogs and identify the most popular topics of data exchange. Social media expert Matthew Hurst recently collected link data for six weeks and produced this plot of the most active and interconnected parts of the blogosphere.

Source:
Map: Welcome to the Blogosphere
Charting the network of jocks, gadget hounds, political junkies, and porn aficionados
Stephen Ornes
Discover Magazine, 04.20.2007
http://discovermagazine.com/2007/may/map-welcome-to-the-blogosphere

Posted at 06:06 AM in Web/Tech, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Very funny:

And it case it gets pulled by Fox:

click for video

via Crooks & Liars

Posted at 06:05 AM in Humor, Politics, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

NYT:

"The car employs Audi’s quattro all-wheel-drive system, but the torque split is far more rear-biased than on any other Audi. As with its cousin, the Lamborghini Gallardo, the R8 strives to mimic the feel of a rear-drive car, so only 10 to 35 percent of the V-8’s torque is ever sent forward. At one particularly enthusiastic first-gear launch, I was surprised to find the enormous 295/30/19 rear tires spinning briefly before all four wheels dug in and catapulted the car forward. Burnouts are something you don’t expect from an all-wheel-drive Audi, even an RS 4.

As I said, I didn’t get to drive the R8 on a track, and exploring this car’s limits on a public road would constitute sociopathic behavior on par with juggling chainsaws at a baby shower.

But I can tell you that the R8 grips so tenaciously that it wanted to bounce my head into the side glass on right-hand corners, and there was more g-force in reserve. Midengine cars have a slight weight bias to the rear, which is the best possible setup for maximum grip. Meanwhile, all-wheel drive delivers outstanding traction. Combine a midengine design with all-wheel drive and you have a lesson in what it feels like to have the force of gravity applied to your noggin on the lateral plane.

The stereotypical knock on high-performance Audis is that they put up impressive numbers without delivering much in the way of driver involvement. The R8 delivers the numbers, certainly — 187 m.p.h. top speed and 0 to 125 m.p.h. in 14.9 seconds, to name a couple — but it also has soul."

Source:
Growling at the Exotics’ Door
Behind the Wheel | 2008 Audi R8
EZRA DYER
NYT, May 20, 2007
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/20/automobiles/autoreviews/20AUTO.html

Posted at 06:25 AM in Automobiles, Design | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A Hard Day's Night
Baby's in Black

The Beatles live at Palais du Sport, Paris - 20th June 1965

 click for video

Posted at 06:35 AM in Music, The Beatles, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Via adherents.com, we get today's random data point:  Major Religions of the World Ranked by Number of Adherents:

Top 22 Earth Religions

Christianity: 2.1 billion
Islam: 1.3 billion
Secular/Nonreligious/Agnostic/Atheist: 1.1 billion
Hinduism: 900 million
Chinese traditional religion: 394 million
Buddhism: 376 million
primal-indigenous: 300 million
African Traditional & Diasporic: 100 million
Sikhism: 23 million
Juche: 19 million
Spiritism: 15 million
Judaism: 14 million
Baha'i: 7 million
Jainism: 4.2 million
Shinto: 4 million
Cao Dai: 4 million
Zoroastrianism: 2.6 million
Tenrikyo: 2 million
Neo-Paganism: 1 million
Unitarian-Universalism: 800 thousand
Rastafarianism: 600 thousand
Scientology: 500 thousand

Posted at 06:05 AM in Religion | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Is that a real number?

via Unbeknowst

Posted at 06:07 AM in Humor, Web/Tech | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack