Hale Stewart blogs as The Bonddad Blog, as well as at the Huffington Post. He is our guest author tonite for a rather unusual Friday Night Jazz on Frank Zappa:

~~~

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"Frank Zappa was one of the greatest musicians of the 20th century. He was a brilliant composer, an incredibly unique guitarist (with one of the best tones ever) and one of the funniest people the world has ever seen. His music combined elements of jazz, rock, classical and vaudeville.

His various bands read like a who’s who of music. They include (home site, followed by BR's favorite disc):

• Steve Vai (favorite disc: Passion and Warfare)

• Adrian Belew (favorite colloboration: King Crimson Discipline) 

• George Duke (favorite disc: Reach for It)   

• Michael Brecker (favorite disc: Pilgrimage)

• Terry Bozzio (favorite DVD: Solo Drums)

• Jeff Berlin (favorite disc: Crossroads)

and many others.

Zappa’s bands were basically a training ground for some great musicians. In this regard, Zappa played a role in the rock world that was similar to Art Blakey in the jazz world. In short, he was one-of-a-kind.

I think there are two reasons why Zappa is a bit difficult to get into. The first is his music is dense and very multi-dimensional. While he would adhere to standard musical formulas (like a basic I - IV - V blues progression) he would add odd-metered rhythmic runs right in the middle of a piece.

Basically, Zappa’s music throws the listener tons of curve balls; you literally do not know what will happen next. In addition, Zappa was one of the first progenitors of serious and effective cross-pollination of musical forms. This is a really fancy way of saying he used ideas from a ton of musical forms in a very unique way. As an example, the album Hot Rats (more on this below) is one of the first really successful jazz-rock albums, meaning the musical ideas were a combination of rock concepts (usually meaning a more aggressive musical attitude and distorted guitar tone) and jazz ideas (usually meaning a more advanced harmonic or chord background). In short, Zappa’s musical ideas come from a variety of places making his overall style very hard to pigeon hole.

The second reason why Zappa is not the household word he should be is, well, humor. While some find his lyrics offensive, others (such as myself) find them to be incredibly funny. Hell – his song titles are funny. Who else could write “The Illinois Enema Bandit” (which is based on a true story) and then have Don Pardo add a voice over on a live album? Or how about “Titties and Beer”, “Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?”,  "Bamboozled by Love”, "Don’t Eat That Yellow Snow” or perhaps his most famous song, “Valley Girl”?

The bottom line is Zappa’s music is really funny. If you like to laugh at the absurdities of life (or are a die-hard Monty Python fan), then this is music right up your alley.

Zappa’s recorded history is daunting, especially for someone who is looking for a good introduction into Zappa’s music. For those of you who are looking for a general overview, I would highly recommend six albums, titled:

• You Can’t Do That On Stage Anymore, Volumes 1 through 6. Each album is a two CD collection of various Zappa performances from his almost 30 year career. This gives you 12 CDs of great Zappa music. You’ll hear most of his more popular songs. You’ll also hear several version of the same song arranged in drastically different ways (Zappa was constantly rewriting his tunes for each of his bands. In fact, he would often rewrite songs while he was on tour).

There are two other live Zappa albums that deserve serious mention. The first is Zappa in New York. This is one of the best live albums ever recorded. His band is in fine form and Zappa even enlists Don Pardo to perform some of the funniest voice-overs in the history of music. Pardo is especially brilliant on “I Am the Slime”. There is also a great version of “The Torture Never Stops” where Zappa does some of his best guitar playing ever (his use of feedback rivals Hendrix on machine Gun. No, really – it does).

Finally there is "At the Roxy and Elsewhere”. This has some great versions of Cheapness (which is about really old and poorly made horror movies) and “Penguin in Bondage” (which is about, well, just listen to the opening monologue). These is also a fine version of “Trouble Everyday” which again has some of the best guitar playing on record.

I should add that I am personally a much bigger fan of Zappa’s live work. Zappa would take big chances on stage. Some would work, some wouldn’t. But the fact that he would take chances in the hopes of creating something truly remarkable makes his live work stand-out that much more. In addition, his bands were always top-notch.

There are three studio albums that I will mention, all personal favorites. Remember, Zappa put out tons of studio albums, so picking and choosing can be very difficult.

I mentioned Hot Rats above. This album has some incredibly written tunes like Peaches in Regalia and Son of Mr. Green Genes. Peaches is a jazz-rock tour de force.

Joe’s Garage is a biting satirical look at the rock and roll business that also pokes fun at the religious right. I listened to this album in its entirely on a road trip a long time ago and I have never been the same since.

Finally comes Zoot Allures, which has a studio version of “The Torture Never Stops” and some great guitar work on “Black Napkins”.

Finally, Zappa was one of the best guitarists around. He had an amazing tone and his phrasing was simply incredible. There are two albums of note in this area: Shut Up and Play Your Guitar, and Guitar. Both have nothing but Frank Zappa guitar solos. Together these collections have five albums worth of material for the Zappa Guitar fan. I highly recommend both.

I am really only touching the surface of Zappa’s recorded legacy. There are tons of great albums out there. As I mentioned above, I personally prefer his live recordings because his bands were just incredible. But his studio work is also awesome.

So – quit reading my swill and go buy some Zappa albums!"

~~~

Great stuff, thanks Hale!

This is now Barry writing, and I would add a few discs to consider. Over-Nite Sensation -- a tale of sexual depravity and bovine perspiration -- was originally panned by Zappaphiles as too commercial. It is a tight satirical masterpiece. And, after Joe’s Garage, it is amongst the most accessible of his albums. This is the album to begin your Zappa experience with.

Apostrophe (') is another brilliant set of highly polished jazz-rock. It too, achieves a degree of greatness -- and actual radio airplay -- with songs such as "Don't Eat that Yellow Snow," "Cosmik Debris" and "Stink-Foot."   

Lastly, for those of you who only want or need a passing glimpse of greatness, there is Strictly Commercial -- its Zappa's "Best of."

Where ever you start with FZ's work, prepare to experience music unlike anything else you have ever heard  before . . .

~~~

Frank Zappa on Crossfire

Titties & Beer

Apostrophe

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Funny advert:

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The Bar results were out this past week. For those of you who passed, congrats.

For those of you considering going to law school, go for it. I found it to be an extremely rewarding, disciplining educational experience. What you put into it is what you get out of it.

However, not everyone feels that way. Here is the opposite viewpoint:  Top Ten (10) Reasons Not To Go To Law School.

"I am a former practicing attorney, graduate of the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA ) and the George Washington University School of Law (GW Law). Law school was one of the best experiences of my life and my experience practicing law has certainly been a learning experience. I quickly learned that the practice of law was not for me, but the information and knowledge garnered was exceptional. My law degree remains to be one of my biggest assets in business and as I pursue my entrepeneurial endeavors, I have been very fortunate to not have been srapped to working 100 hour weeks to pay back law school loans. Following are the top ten (10) reasons not to go to or attend law school and how each has effected my life."

1. CLIENTS:  The best reason not to go to law school and not to become a lawyer is this: CLIENTS. Clients destroy the practice of law and in fact destroy the enjoyment of most businesses, however in law, clients are the worst. Clients hardly ever pay their bills, insist on running the show, though they know nothing about the law, and torment you with incessant calls and emails...

2. COST: Law school is absurdly expensive. Most of us don't realize how much money we have just borrowed until we are forced to make our first payment. It's ridiculous! Generally speaking unless your parents subsidize your studies, then plan on paying back your student loans for the rest of your life or for the next 45 years, whichever comes first. Also, whatever salary you may make with your new "firm job" will be severely cut into while making these law school payments. I am a student loan baby totaling over $120,000 for three years and these loans are strapped to my back for quite some time.

3. TOP JOBS ARE HYPER-COMPETITIVE: The top jobs at firms out of law school are some of the highest competitive jobs in the country. Sure these jobs can often offer you starting salaries of upwards of $120,000, but remember you have significant law school loans to pay back and you are competing for a job that 0.00001 percent of you will get.

4. INSANE HOURS: Practicing law is far from a 9-5pm job, in fact at the bigger firms it's far from a 9-7pm job. Breaking it down further, based on an excellent salary of approximately $120,000 per year, which can only be garnered at the larger firms, you will work approximately 70 hours a week, probably more. Over the course of the year this equals approximately $33.00 an hour. I know some retail managers that make this.

5. BILLING: For those of you who don't know, Attorneys bill each client per hour of work or even bill for partial increments of time spent on the client. Therefore, if you spend 10 hours at work, most firms require you to bill 8 hours a day. That's 8 hours of work for a client in which your firm is billing that client $300 to $750 an hour. The hours you bill are always too much for your client, but never enough for the firm. This is why extra hours and Saturday's and Sundays become important days in the office -- so you can do more billing.

6. BAR EXAM IS BRUTAL: This beast is two or three days, depending on your state of hypothetical hypotheticals and nonsensical nonsense questions that you will never be confronted with again in your life let alone career. When you fail -- and 40% of you will -- you have to do it all over again in six months.

7. YOU LEARN NOTHING PRACTICAL: Law school certainly isn't designed to teach you how to make money, however its focus is to make you think like a lawyer. Thinking like a lawyer doesn't necessarily translate to success in the real world.

8. THREE LONG YEARS/BREAKS ARE HORRIBLE: I know that college went by extremely fast, but that was college. Law school is a different beast, with a poor social scene and students who are so competitive that they do not leave the library ever.

9. SOCIAL SCENE IS PATHETIC: Law school students are competitive, anal, nerds. They certainly are not the guys and girls you had a blast with drinking, dancing and partying all night. Your new friends and classmates will live in the library and will not find much time away from their books.

10. FINAL EXAMS ARE BRUTAL: For most courses, your entire semester grade will depend on one final exam right before Christmas and one final exam right before summer break. Imagine the stress that will ride on your back as you prepare and then await your grade with no indication as to where you stand.

For the entire post, go to:  Top Ten (10) Reasons Not To Go To Law School

Posted at 06:52 AM in Humor | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Very cool:

Mocean Worker's nu-jazz pairs with old-school animation in the eye-popping new video for 'Shake Ya Boogie.' Mocean Worker told Spinner, "I wanted the video to be a tribute to a 1930s-style Max Fleischer cartoon." The song is from his new album, 'Cinco de Mowo,' and the video began as an experiment with Polish art student and animator Czarek Kwasny. Kwasny took Mowo's ideas and direction for the video exclusively over AIM and email. "Neither of us have actually ever spoken on a phone or heard each other's voices," Mocean Worker explained. Eleven months and countless IMs later, 'Shake Ya Boogie' comes to life.

via Spinner

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Amusing!

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Promotional release of the the song Strawberry Fields Forever

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via boing boing

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A few Thanksgiving factoids: 

-Thankgiving Myth: Turkey Makes You Sleepy

- Black Friday is not the busiest shopping day of the year: Between 1993 and 2002, it cracked the top five just three times, never rising higher than the fourth-busiest day of the year. Americans love to procrastinate: Eight years out of 10, the busiest day fell on the Saturday before Christmas.

- The Pilgrims never ate corn on the cob, apples, pears, potatoes or even cranberries -- and no one knows if they had turkey. All we know for sure is they had deer and fowl.

- The song "Alice's Restaurant Massacree" (aka "Alice's Restaurant") by Arlo Guthrie's is based on a true story that began on Thanksgiving Day. The song lasts 18 minutes and 20 seconds, and occupied the entire A-side of Guthrie's 1967 debut record album, titled Alice's Restaurant.  (full lyrics here)

- Another myth: The US invented Thanksgiving. Turns out that humans have been holding harvest festivals for ages. In ancient times, Middle Eastern peoples offered wheat to "The Great Mother" or "Mother of the Wheat." In medieval times, central Europeans celebrated their harvests at Feast of Saint Martin on November 11th.

-The original feast in 1621 occurred sometime between September 21 and November 11. Unlike our modern holiday, it was three days long. The event was based on English harvest festivals, which traditionally occurred around the 29th of September. President Franklin D. Roosevelt set the date for Thanksgiving to the fourth Thursday of November in 1939 (approved by Congress in 1941). Abraham Lincoln had previously designated it as the last Thursday in November.

-And if you think your family is crazy, remember this: each year, the Aztecs would behead a young girl representing Xilonen, the corn goddess.   

 

via GreenTaxi

Posted at 06:00 PM in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Think you know what a typical Turkey Day meal looks like? Well, look closer. No — much closer. Wired asked Mike Davidson, a biologist and expert photomicrographer at Florida State University's National High Magnetic Field Lab, to turn his lenses on the all-American meal. The images aren't particularly appetizing, and they probably won't help you keep your gobbler moist this year (try brining), but at least you'll be more intimate with the stuff that's making you loosen your belt as you collapse on the couch:

Source:
Wired Puts Your Thanksgiving Feast Under a Microscope
Tom Conlon
10.23.07 | 12:00 AM
http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/magazine/15-11/st_thanksgiving

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Larry Lessig at 2007 TED

Posted at 06:32 AM in Current Affairs, Music, Politics, Video | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?

I am at two with nature.

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

I tended to place my wife under a pedestal.

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.

The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage.

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.

What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row Without Feathers (1976)

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
--Woody Allen, My Speech to the Graduates

Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Woody Allen, The Standup Years

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
Without Feathers (1976)

It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Without Feathers (1976)

Posted at 06:49 AM in Books, Humor, Philosophy | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Great Music video by The Beatles for "I Am The Walrus" -- about 12 years before MTV launched

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Amusing

Posted at 06:49 AM in Current Affairs, Humor, War/Defense | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I'm a slob (No kidding?)

It should come as no surprise that I often stain my shirts (I'm careful to move the tie out of the way).

P&G has this stick: Tide to Go. Its not a pre-soak -- its an "instant stain remover."

I can't vouch that the thing doesn't cause cancer, but it sure as hell works.

I used to carry around these portable little "Shout!" wet-nap like things, but the Tide stick is now in my briefcase, and in my desk drawer.

If you are, like me, a sloppy eater, than you must spend  $4 (or $18 for a six pack) and get one of these.

~~~

No, I don't get paid a cent for this. But if you click on this link to order it from Amazon, I get 18 cents (So I got THAT going for me, which is nice).

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Source:
Next to MoMA, a Tower Will Reach for the Stars
NICOLAI OUROUSSOFF
NYT, November 15, 2007
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/15/arts/design/15arch.html

Posted at 10:10 AM in Art & Design | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Source:
Americans Announce They're Dropping Out Of Presidential Race
November 14, 2007 | Issue 43•46
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/americans_announce_theyre_dropping

Posted at 11:21 AM in Humor, Politics | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Very cool:

Posted at 06:37 AM in Humor, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Light Bulb

«... good enough for our transatlantic friends ... but unworthy of the attention of practical or scientific men.»
British Parliamentary Committee, referring to Edison's light bulb, 1878.

«Such startling announcements as these should be deprecated as being unworthy of science and mischievous to its true progress.»
Sir William Siemens, on Edison's light bulb, 1880.

«Everyone acquainted with the subject will recognize it as a conspicuous failure.»
Henry Morton, president of the Stevens Institute of Technology, on Edison's light bulb, 1880.

Automobiles

«The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty, a fad.»
The president of the Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford's lawyer not to invest in the Ford Motor Co., 1903.

«That the automobile has practically reached the limit of its development is suggested by the fact that during the past year no improvements of a radical nature have been introduced.»
Scientific American, Jan. 2 edition, 1909.

«The ordinary "horseless carriage" is at present a luxury for the wealthy; and although its price will probably fall in the future, it will never, of course, come into as common use as the bicycle.»
Literary Digest, 1899.

Airplanes

«Flight by machines heavier than air is unpractical (sic) and insignificant, if not utterly impossible.» - Simon Newcomb; The Wright Brothers flew at Kittyhawk 18 months later. Newcomb was not impressed.

«Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.»
Lord Kelvin, British mathematician and physicist, president of the British Royal Society, 1895.

«It is apparent to me that the possibilities of the aeroplane, which two or three years ago were thought to hold the solution to the [flying machine] problem, have been exhausted, and that we must turn elsewhere.»
Thomas Edison, American inventor, 1895.

«Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.»
Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, 1904.

«There will never be a bigger plane built.»
A Boeing engineer, after the first flight of the 247, a twin engine plane that holds ten people.

Computers

«Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1.5 tons.»
Popular Mechanics, March 1949.

«There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.»
Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp. (DEC), maker of big business mainframe computers, arguing against the PC in 1977.

«I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year.»
The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957.

«But what... is it good for?»
IBM executive Robert Lloyd, speaking in 1968 microprocessor, the heart of today's computers.

Events

«We will bury you.»
Nikita Krushchev, Soviet Premier, predicting Soviet communism will win over U.S. capitalism, 1958.

«Everything that can be invented has been invented.»
Charles H. Duell, an official at the US patent office, 1899.

«I see no good reasons why the views given in this volume should shock the religious sensibilities of anyone.»
Charles Darwin, in the foreword to his book, The Origin of Species, 1869.

«Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.»
Irving Fisher, economics professor at Yale University, 1929.

«If anything remains more or less unchanged, it will be the role of women.»
David Riesman, conservative American social scientist, 1967.

«It will be gone by June.»
Variety, passing judgement on rock 'n roll in 1955.

«Democracy will be dead by 1950.»
John Langdon-Davies, A Short History of The Future, 1936.

«A short-lived satirical pulp.»
TIME, writing off Mad magazine in 1956.

«And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam»
Newsweek, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s.

«Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force.» -– British prime minister Lord North, on dealing with the rebellious American colonies, 1774.

«In all likelihood world inflation is over.»
International Monetary Fund Ceo, 1959.

«This antitrust thing will blow over.»
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

«Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop - because women like to get out of the house, like to handle merchandise, like to be able to change their minds.»
TIME, 1966, in one sentence writing off e-commerce long before anyone had ever heard of it.

«They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-»
Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, spoken as he looked out over the parapet at enemy lines during the Battle of Spotsylvania in 1864.

«Our country has deliberately undertaken a great social and economic experiment, noble in motive and far reaching in purpose." -– Herbert Hoover, on Prohibition, 1928.

«It will be years - not in my time - before a woman will become Prime Minister.»
Margaret Thatcher, future Prime Minister, October 26th, 1969.

«Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES.»
George Bush, 1988.

«You will be home before the leaves have fallen from the trees.»
-– Kaiser Wilhelm, to the German troops, August 1914.

«This is the second time in our history that there has come back from Germany to Downing Street peace with honor. I believe it is peace for our time.»
-– Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister, September 30th, 1938.

«That virus is a pussycat.»
-– Dr. Peter Duesberg, molecular-biology professor at U.C. Berkeley, on HIV, 1988.

«The case is a loser.»
-– Johnnie Cochran, on soon-to-be client O.J.'s chances of winning, 1994.

«Reagan doesn't have that presidential look.»
-– United Artists Executive, rejecting Reagan as lead in 1964 film The Best Man.

«Capitalist production begets, with the inexorability of a law of nature, its own negation.»
Karl Marx.

«Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.»
Grover Cleveland, U.S. President, 1905.

«Man will not fly for 50 years.»
Wilbur Wright, American aviation pioneer, to brother Orville, after a disappointing flying experiment, 1901 (their first successful flight was in 1903).

«I am tired of all this sort of thing called science here... We have spent millions in that sort of thing for the last few years, and it is time it should be stopped.»
Simon Cameron, U.S. Senator, on the Smithsonian Institute, 1901.

«The Americans are good about making fancy cars and refrigerators, but that doesn't mean they are any good at making aircraft. They are bluffing. They are excellent at bluffing.»
Hermann Goering, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe, 1942.

«With over fifteen types of foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big share of the market for itself.»
Business Week, August 2, 1968.

«The multitude of books is a great evil. There is no limit to this fever for writing; every one must be an author; some out of vanity, to acquire celebrity and raise up a name, others for the sake of mere gain.»
Martin Luther, German Reformation leader, Table Talk, 1530s(?).

«Ours has been the first [expedition], and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality.»
Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861.

«There is no doubt that the regime of Saddam Hussein possesses weapons of mass destruction. As this operation continues, those weapons will be identified, found, along with the people who have produced them and who guard them.»
General Tommy Franks, March 22nd, 2003.

Radio

«Radio has no future.»
Lord Kelvin, Scottish mathematician and physicist, former president of the Royal Society, 1897.

«The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent to no one in particular?»
Associates of David Sarnoff responding to the latter's call for investment in the radio in 1921.

«Lee DeForest has said in many newspapers and over his signature that it would be possible to transmit the human voice across the Atlantic before many years. Based on these absurd and deliberately misleading statements, the misguided public ... has been persuaded to purchase stock in his company ...»
a U.S. District Attorney, prosecuting American inventor Lee DeForest for selling stock fraudulently through the mail for his Radio Telephone Company in 1913.

Space Travel

«There is practically no chance communications space satellites will be used to provide better telephone, telegraph, television, or radio service inside the United States.»
T. Craven, FCC Commissioner, in 1961 (the first commercial communications satellite went into service in 1965).

«Space travel is utter bilge.»
Richard Van Der Riet Woolley, upon assuming the post of Astronomer Royal in 1956.

«Space travel is bunk.»
Sir Harold Spencer Jones, Astronomer Royal of the UK, 1957 (two weeks later Sputnik orbited the Earth).

«To place a man in a multi-stage rocket and project him into the controlling gravitational field of the moon where the passengers can make scientific observations, perhaps land alive, and then return to earth - all that constitutes a wild dream worthy of Jules Verne. I am bold enough to say that such a man-made voyage will never occur regardless of all future advances.»
Lee DeForest, American radio pioneer and inventor of the vacuum tube, in 1926

Rockets

«We stand on the threshold of rocket mail.»
-– U.S. postmaster general Arthur Summerfield, in 1959.

«... too far-fetched to be considered.»
Editor of Scientific American, in a letter to Robert Goddard about Goddard's idea of a rocket-accelerated airplane bomb, 1940 (German V2 missiles came down on London 3 years later).

«A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth's atmosphere.»
New York Times, 1936.

Atomic and Nuclear Power

«The basic questions of design, material and shielding, in combining a nuclear reactor with a home boiler and cooling unit, no longer are problems... The system would heat and cool a home, provide unlimited household hot water, and melt the snow from sidewalks and driveways. All that could be done for six years on a single charge of fissionable material costing about $300.»
–- Robert Ferry, executive of the U.S. Institute of Boiler and Radiator Manufacturers, 1955.

«Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in 10 years.»
-– Alex Lewyt, president of vacuum cleaner company Lewyt Corp., in the New York Times in 1955.

«That is the biggest fool thing we have ever done [research on]... The bomb will never go off, and I speak as an expert in explosives.»
Admiral William D. Leahy, U.S. Admiral working in the U.S. Atomic Bomb Project, advising President Truman on atomic weaponry, 1944.

«Atomic energy might be as good as our present-day explosives, but it is unlikely to produce anything very much more dangerous.»
Winston Churchill, British Prime Minister, 1939.

«The energy produced by the breaking down of the atom is a very poor kind of thing. Anyone who expects a source of power from the transformation of these atoms is talking moonshine.»
Ernest Rutherford, shortly after splitting the atom for the first time.

«There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to be shattered at will.»
Albert Einstein, 1932.

«There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom.»
Robert Millikan, American physicist and Nobel Prize winner, 1923.

Films

«Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?»
H. M. Warner, co-founder of Warner Brothers, 1927.

«The cinema is little more than a fad. It's canned drama. What audiences really want to see is flesh and blood on the stage."
-– Charlie Chaplin, actor, producer, director, and studio founder, 1916.

Telephone/Telegraph

«This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.»
A memo at Western Union, 1878 (or 1876).

«The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.»
Sir William Preece, Chief Engineer, British Post Office, 1878.

«It's a great invention but who would want to use it anyway?»
Rutherford B. Hayes, U.S. President, after a demonstration of Alexander Bell's telephone, 1876.

«A man has been arrested in New York for attempting to extort funds from ignorant and superstitious people by exhibiting a device which he says will convey the human voice any distance over metallic wires so that it will be heard by the listener at the other end. He calls this instrument a telephone. Well-informed people know that it is impossible to transmit the human voice over wires.»
News item in a New York newspaper, 1868.

Television

«Television won't last. It's a flash in the pan.»
Mary Somerville, pioneer of radio educational broadcasts, 1948.

«Television won't last because people will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night.»
Darryl Zanuck, movie producer, 20th Century Fox, 1946.

«While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility, a development of which we need waste little time dreaming.»
Lee DeForest, American radio pioneer and inventor of the vacuum tube, 1926.

Railroads

«Dear Mr. President: The canal system of this country is being threatened by a new form of transportation known as 'railroads' ... As you may well know, Mr. President, 'railroad' carriages are pulled at the enormous speed of 15 miles per hour by 'engines' which, in addition to endangering life and limb of passengers, roar and snort their way through the countryside, setting fire to crops, scaring the livestock and frightening women and children. The Almighty certainly never intended that people should travel at such breakneck speed.»
Martin Van Buren, Governor of New York, 1830(?).

«What can be more palpably absurd than the prospect held out of locomotives traveling twice as fast as stagecoaches?»
The Quarterly Review, March edition, 1825.

«Rail travel at high speed is not possible, because passengers, unable to breathe, would die of asphyxia.»
Dr Dionysys Larder (1793-1859), professor of Natural Philosophy and Astronomy, University College London.

Other Technology

«Transmission of documents via telephone wires is possible in principle, but the apparatus required is so expensive that it will never become a practical proposition.»
Dennis Gabor, British physicist and author of Inventing the Future, 1962.

«[By 1985], machines will be capable of doing any work Man can do.»
Herbert A. Simon, of Carnegie Mellon University - considered to be a founder of the field of artificial intelligence - speaking in 1965.

«The world potential market for copying machines is 5000 at most.»
IBM, to the eventual founders of Xerox, saying the photocopier had no market large enough to justify production, 1959.

«I must confess that my imagination refuses to see any sort of submarine doing anything but suffocating its crew and floundering at sea.»
HG Wells, British novelist, in 1901.

«X-rays will prove to be a hoax.»
Lord Kelvin, President of the Royal Society, 1883.

«Very interesting Whittle, my boy, but it will never work.»
Cambridge Aeronautics Professor, when shown Frank Whittle's plan for the jet engine.

«The idea that cavalry will be replaced by these iron coaches is absurd. It is little short of treasonous.»
Comment of Aide-de-camp to Field Marshal Haig, at tank demonstration, 1916.

«Caterpillar landships are idiotic and useless. Those officers and men are wasting their time and are not pulling their proper weight in the war.»
Fourth Lord of the British Admiralty, 1915.

«What, sir, would you make a ship sail against the wind and currents by lighting a bonfire under her deck? I pray you, excuse me, I have not the time to listen to such nonsense.»
Napoleon Bonaparte, when told of Robert Fulton's steamboat, 1800s.

«The phonograph has no commercial value at all.»
Thomas Edison, American inventor, 1880s.

«If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said 'you can't do this'.»
Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads.

«Fooling around with alternating current is just a waste of time. Nobody will use it, ever.»
Thomas Edison, American inventor, 1889 (Edison often ridiculed the arguments of competitor George Westinghouse for AC power).

Source:
Top 87 Bad Predictions about the Future
3/28/2006    
http://www.2spare.com/item_50221.aspx

Posted at 06:25 AM in Current Affairs, Science | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

I remember when this was "found" -- not quite classic Beatles, but still pretty good.

Posted at 07:00 AM in Music, The Beatles, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

source: Health vs. Pork: Congress Debates the Farm Bill   

Hat tip kottke

Posted at 06:52 PM in Current Affairs, Idiot!, Politics, Science | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hat tip kottke

Source:
Mafia's 'Ten Commandments' found   
BBC, Friday, 9 November 2007, 11:06 GMT
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/7086716.stm

Posted at 02:19 PM in Current Affairs, Philosophy | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ginormous chart:

Download Green_Boom.pdf

Posted at 06:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Too funny:

Viewer Voices: Where We Respond To The Opinions Of Our Uninformed Viewers

Posted at 06:22 AM in Humor, Television | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Momspit (inspired by the original) is the universal no-rinse cleanser. It’s not a sanitizer and does not contain any alcohol. In fact, it’s gentle enough to use on your face. Momspit foams for easy application, eliminates dirt and grime, and leaves skin moisturized and yummy smelling. It’s the perfect thing to throw in your purse, place on your desk, or keep in your car. To use: Apply a small amount on hands or face and rub in completely. No rinse needed.

Posted at 06:36 AM in Art & Design | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Great T-Shirt:

http://www.mightygirl.net/iflag.html

Posted at 06:34 AM in Art & Design, Humor, Philosophy | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack

You can tell John is less than thrilled with the Lip Synching . . .

Posted at 06:50 AM in Music, The Beatles, Video | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Rex Sorgatz of Fimoculous, answers the question: Among the scores of sites devoted to Google-watching, sympathetic and skeptical, which are the best?
  

PRO-GOOGLE

Google Operating System
By  far the most comprehensive destination for all-things-Google, this site  consistently reads between the lines of the press releases, teases out hidden  features, and scoops tech reporters without even trying. The name derives from  the notion that the operating system as we know it is dying–and moving  online.

Blogoscoped
Taking a  slightly more newsy agenda, Blogscoped tracks new product releases, privacy  concerns, and releases from Google competitors.

The Official Google Blog
You  might think that Google could be the one company that uses blogging as more than  a PR platform. You’d be wrong.

The  Google Public Policy Blog
Also  penned by Google insiders, this controversial site abandons public relations in  favor of lawyerly reflection. Some call it propaganda; others, a transparent way  of being a PAC. Either way, it’s an eye into what Google’s lawyers in D.C. are  working on.

Google News Blog
As  Google tries to figure out where it stands as a content company, this blog from  the Google News team shows some of their thinking.

ANTI-GOOGLE

Just Say “No” To Google
This  might be the most popular blog of all time that has only one post. Originally an  email circulated by Microsoft employees, the site’s solo post posits the pluses  and minuses at working at Google versus Microsoft. Although it tilts slightly  toward Microsoft in its estimation, it’s still an evenly argued examination of  what each company offers its employees.

Google Watch
Google has  plenty of problems — privacy concerns, PageRank gamers, and its policy China  policy, for starters. Google Watch articulates several of these, but an  unsurprisingly backlash-to-the-backlash has sprung up:  Google-Watch-Watch.org.

Scobleizer
Since leaving  Microsoft last year, Robert Scoble’s blog has become considerably more  pro-Google and anti-Microsoft. But the archives contain a wealth of “why do I  get no respect?” rants.

Calacanis.com
When you hear  this former Weblogs, Inc. founder speak about Google, it’s all about how the  robots aren’t winning the battle against the spammers. Looking for a hotel in  Paris? Just type in “Paris Hilton” and see what happens. His solution is to put  humans back in control by launch Mahalo.com, where actual humans are crafting search  result pages, rather than algorithms.

Source:
the best blogs about Google
By Steve Perry
October 30, 2007
06:07 am
http://www.dailymole.com/wordpress/2007/10/30/their-world-and-welcome-to-it-rex-sorgatz-picks-the-best-blogs-about-google/

Posted at 10:57 AM in Web/Tech, Weblogs | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Terribly amusing biology work:

See also Skeletal Systems
http://michaelpaulus.com/gallery/v/character-Skeletons/

Posted at 06:40 AM in Design, Science | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

When the cheapest hot dog in town is raising prices, you know there's inflation:

"Gray’s Papaya, for “When You’re Hungry, or Broke, or Just in a Hurry!”

For those who are broke, however, paying for a meal at Gray’s will soon be a tiny bit more of a challenge, according to a third sign. “Bummer!!” it says. “We fight the good fight but our costs keep going up and we will soon be forced to raise our prices.” Smaller signs at the store make the same point.

On Thursday, a counterman served up a dog with onions, for the usual 95 cents (5 cents less than the “Polite New Yorker” buttons that are also on sale). The “recession special,” two dogs and a drink, was still $2.75 including tax, as it has been for several years.

But Nicholas A. B. Gray, who founded the three-store chain in 1973, said on Friday that the prices would go up within the next few weeks, although he has not yet decided by how much. Increases in rents, taxes and the costs of dealing with government agencies, he said, are the reasons.

And, he added, he is not taking the change lightly. “It’s very traumatic to me,” he said, “and it’s very traumatic for my customers, I think, because they feel a sense of betrayal.”

Source:
Lamentation at Gray’s Papaya
JAKE MOONEY
NYT, October 8, 2006
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/08/nyregion/thecity/08hotd.html

Posted at 06:30 PM in Food and Drink | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Gotta love the Brits!

Her Breasts Confused Him - Funny home videos are a click away

Posted at 05:58 AM in Television | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack