Friday, October 30, 2009

Glossary of Trading Terms and Phrases

via Dopey Cowboy

 

Better Lucky than Smart – The only thing we have going for us.

Buyer Outside  – Something sales traders say to force your hand when they get tired of watching you play stock market.

Clean up - If you believe that I have a bridge to show you.

CSA – Clusterf**k Service Alternative:  When it’s easier for you client to just write a check rather than trade with your team of farm animals.

DFIU – The latest IM catch phrase meaning “Don’t F**k It Up”.

Discount Bid – Chinese trading fire drill.  There’s a 1 in 10,000 chance you actually get a trade on at the price but it’s a good exercise for going through the motions and a great way to kill a few minutes and piss some people off.

Down a Touch – This thing just came off like a f**king prom dress.

Fair and Reasonable – Something the buy-side has no concept of.

Fast Money – Just means they’ve got money moving out the door quicker.

Fill or Kill – Respond this second or deal with the consequences of this extremely illiquid stock not trading and me miraculously catching a second buyer who wants to bid you for the exact same amount in about a half hour or so.

Find out who’s moving the stock - Pick a name out of a hat.

Floor Looks: The only way to be 100% wrong 100% of the time.

Good Guy – Doesn’t ask me any difficult questions.

Great Guy – Doesn’t ask me any difficult questions and gives me business.

Happy“Happy to get involved”, “Happy to get you started” – Although coming across like Mr. Sunshine, It’s Wall Street’s way of reminding you that your sales trader is just a whore at heart and willing to take one in the keester if it gets him an order.

Hedge Fund Hotels– Crowded names; like roach motels… only now with phone taps.

I have a call into my analyst – If it’s important, go get the info somewhere else.

I won’t embarrass you: Unbuckle your pants.

I’ll just make one call – I will make sure you’re the only client who gets blocked while we super message your indication to the entire planet.

Intelligent Questions“Why is XYZ down 8%” – translates into help me get my PM off my back.

In Touch With (ITW) – Often fabricated by sales traders.  It’s the practice of throwing lots of shit at the wall and seeing what sticks.

ITW 2 Ways – I have no opinion on the stock or any idea what’s going on in the room because I’ve been surfing the web for the past three hours and I need to get involved.

It Wasn’t Me – Of course it was me.  Stocks don’t move like that by themselves.

Lay Up – You’re fucked and/or customer wants something.

Make it Right: Let’s ignore all those pesky rules, regulations and what actually traded for a minute.

More Behind – It doesn’t matter who’s saying it, it means the customer doesn’t trust his coverage enough to give him his whole number.

Must Be the Program Desk – That’s how you explain to an inquiring account about a stock you’re #1 in but failed to shop even once.

Natural – This is the term brokers use and pretend to have when you’re stupid enough to mention interest in a name.  Beware sales traders who like to use the term natural  It’s like somebody who volunteers the term honestly after a statement.  Usually ‘natural’ is as unnatural as Chastity Bono’s surgically manipulated genitalia.

Nine to Five Jobs - Storybook fairy tales told to blue-collar children.

On the side-lines – Synonymous with you’re done for the day and I’m moving on to the next broker.

Open Up Down -  If you hear somebody say “the stock is going to open up down fifty cents”, that’s code for they should be flipping burgers for a living and you need to hang up the phone immediately.

Options Related – Any 7 figure trade you’re too lazy to explore must have been “options related.”

Plugged - Just like it sounds, only you don’t have time to reach for the KY.

PM Limit - Sure it is.

Seller is over-the-day:  I really have nothing and was lying the entire time to try and get you in.

Short Squeeze – explanation given for any stock up more than 4% when you’re too busy with another client to check it out.

Smart Money – 65% of that crowd has gone out of business over the past 18 months and half of what’s left is either getting squeezed or subpoenaed.  There is no smart money.

Systems Problem - I owe you a print.  I’m just scrambling to figure out how much stock I missed so I know how much to print you on.

Straight home – 2am best.

Step it Out – April Fools!

Takes me out of the name – there’s a few million more.  I’ll just pretend to catch another seller tomorrow… or later.

Top Tick – Usually paid by institutional buyers

Traded Away – Your client just douched you.

Treat me Subject - I’m indecisive and want to make sure it’s going my way first.

Understood - I’m not sure what you just said so I’m just gonna wing it and hope you don’t call.

Wanted to Let it Trade Without Me – I went outside for lunch and totally forgot I put a limit on the f**king thing.

VWAP – No conviction.

Vanilla – Generic account description used when sales trader is either A) Too lazy to investigate further.  B) Setting up fantasy football roster for upcoming week and is too lazy to investigate further… or C) Never heard of account before and is too lazy to investigate further.

Wake Up – “You want me to wake you up somewhere?”… This way I can totally fail notice when it gets there and embarrass myself yet again.

We’re big boys, we can take it – Son of a bitch! That stung like a mother f**ker.

Work to Improve – Term is normally used in a derogatory tone in a useless attempt to help improve the less than impressive job you’ve done so far.

-Dopey

 

dopeycowboyterms

 

 

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