Monday, February 22, 2010

HELLO OPERATOR

 

 Actual call center conversations!

 

Customer:   'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;        can you help?'

Operator:    'Where did you get that number, sir?'

Customer:   'It's on the door of the business.'

Operator:

'Sir, those are the hours that the business is open.'

 

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Samsung Electronics

Caller:        'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator:   'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'

Caller:        'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I    need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and   telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the  number for Jack?'

Operator:   'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

 

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Directory Enquiries

Caller:  'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please.'

Operator:  'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling

is correct?'

Caller:  'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

 

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On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:  'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.'

 

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Tech Support:  'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer:        'OK.'

Tech Support:  'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer:    'No.'

Tech Support:  'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer:        'No.'

Tech Support:  'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this  point?'

Customer:        'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

 

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Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?'

 

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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

 

Operator:       'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller:            'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '

Operator:       'What sort of trouble??'

Caller:            'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words

                       went away.'

Operator:       'Went away?'

Caller:            'They disappeared'

Operator:       'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller:            'Nothing.'

Operator:       'Nothing??'

Caller:            'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator:       'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller:            'How do I tell?'

Operator:       'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller:            'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator:       'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller:            'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I

                       type.'

Operator:       'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller:            'What's a monitor?'

Operator:       'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

                       Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller:            'I don't know.'

Operator:       'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where

                       the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller:            'Yes, I think so.'

Operator:       'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

                       plugged into the wall.

Caller:            'Yes, it is.'

Operator:       'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

                       there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just

                       one? '

Caller:            'No.'

Operator:      'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and

                      find the other cable.'

Caller:           'Okay, here it is.'

Operator:      'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into

                      the back of your computer..'

Caller:           'I can't reach.'

Operator:      'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller:           'No..'

Operator:      'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean

                      way over?'

Caller:           'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's

                      because it's dark.'

Operator:      'Dark?'

Caller:           'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

                      coming in from the window.'

Operator:      'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller:           'I can't.'

Operator:      'No? Why not?'

Caller:           'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator:      'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got it  

                      licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and  

                      packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller:          'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator:     'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it  

                     up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to

                     the store you bought it from.'

Caller:          'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator:     'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller:          'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator:    'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

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