Monday, March 22, 2010
NYC from above at night
Posted at 01:45 PM | Permalink
Friday, March 19, 2010
Speaks volumes to the differences.
Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for a class assignment:
The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails, and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
(second paragraph by Bill )
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far...." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam , felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. " Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FREAKIN TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"
SCREW YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!
In your dreams. Go drink some tea.
A+ ... I really liked this one.
Posted at 10:10 AM | Permalink
Monday, March 15, 2010
Something New--Garage Door covers
A German firm called "Style Your Garage" - creates posters for garage doors
that make it look as if it's actually showing the interior of your garage, and what's in it!Prices range from $199 to $399 for the double-door! All but guaranteed
to make passersby take a second look!
A great idea to freak out the neighbors!
Posted at 07:30 PM | Permalink
Saturday, March 13, 2010
You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up
Posted at 07:30 PM | Permalink
Monday, March 08, 2010
smoke ring collision
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
Slow mo dogs
Posted at 03:10 PM | Permalink
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." — US Air Force Manual
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons." — General MacArthur
"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." — U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
"Tracers work both ways." — U.S. Army Ordnance Manual
"Five second fuses only last three seconds." — Infantry Journal
The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. — Basic Flight Training Manual
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once." — Maritime Ops Manual
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." — Unknown Marine Recruit
"If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him." — USAF Ammo Troop
"You've never been lost until you"ve been lost at Mach 3." — Paul F. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire." —Unknown Author
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter — and therefore, unsafe." — Fixed Wing Pilot
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash." — Multi-Engine Training Manual
"Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club." — Unknown Author
"If you hear me yell; 'Eject, Eject, Eject!,' the last two will be echos. If you stop to ask 'Why?' you"ll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot." — Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies." — Sign over Control Tower Door
"Never trade luck for skill." — Author Unknown
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight." — Basic Flight Training Manual
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation — we have never left one up there!" — Unknown Author
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it." — Emergency Checklist
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." — Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." — Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ
"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to." — Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal." — Lead-in Fighter Training Manual
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives. The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, "What happened?" The pilot"s reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
Posted at 05:47 PM | Permalink
Posted at 09:34 AM | Permalink