Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil's Tongue

Saturday, March 04, 2006 | 09:30 AM

I've long been a fan of Ambrose Bierce's Unabridged Devil's Dictionary.

Bloomberg's John Dorfman has put together his own version:  Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil's Tongue.

Here are my favorite entries:   

Accountant: A person who determines a company's revenue and earnings figures, and who is also paid by the company. An old joke has a CEO interviewing several prospective accountants. He asks each one, ``How much is two plus two?'' The winning answer: ``How much would you like it to be?''

Bear market: An unpleasant downturn in stock prices, generally exceeding 20 percent, that ends the day after you give up and sell all of your stocks.

Day trader: Someone whose investment time horizon is shorter than yours.

Earnings: (1) Profits. (2) The excess of revenue over expenses. (3) An arbitrary figure engineered by a company's executives to facilitate the rewarding of generous bonuses to themselves.

Long term: That period of time over which I am proven right.

Pro forma earnings: A company's self-serving earnings statement in which unfavorable things are disregarded on the grounds that they don't really matter.



Stock Market Dictionary Via the Devil's Tongue   
John Dorfman
Bloomberg, Feb 28, 2006

Saturday, March 04, 2006 | 09:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (5) | TrackBack (0) add to | digg digg this! | technorati add to technorati | email email this post



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You meant "Bierce", not "Pierce."

Posted by: Tom Gibson | Mar 4, 2006 9:59:16 AM

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