PR Weenies: Go Away!

Friday, July 07, 2006 | 03:00 PM

Dear PR folk,

Its been about 5 years since this blogging thing ramped up. Astoundingly, over 90% of you still do not have a clue. Considering how related this is to your field, that's a pretty astonishing number. I don't know who pays you people, but man, that has to be one of the lowest ROI that has ever existed.

Since you assclowns seem to be lost, allow me to suggest some guidelines that perhaps the brighter of your group may benefit from (the rest of you can skip to the end): 

1. Stop emailing me your random crap. You have in a very short time become spammers. Merely blast emailing (again, that's spam) will get you and your entire offices blacklisted everywhere. 

2. If you are going to email stuff out (spam-like though that may be) try perusing the blogs you send things to. How about trying to reach a blog that is relevant to your subject matter? I know, that would involve labor on your part, but if its not remotely related to the subject matter at hand, you are wasting people's time and your employers money.

3. Try sending out items that are interesting. Again, this involves work, but the boring shit I've gotten from you is simply unreadable. No one will blog about it. NO ONE.

4. Exercise some discretion in the clients you take. Some of the crap you are trying to promote is a step away from the opening of a new supermarket. Are you simply whores that work for whoever writes you a paycheck, regardless ? 

To review: No random crap, don't spam, make it relevant, make it interesting, stop being whores.

Oh, and I plan on enforcing these rules.

Piss me off further and I will return the favor (since by your behavior, your unsolicited commercial email is spam). How'd you like to have all of your phone numbers, fax #s and email addresses to become unusable? I can set up an auto dialer/emailer in Khazackstan Kazakhstan for 58 cents a day. Maybe when you come back from a month's sabbatical, you might be able to make an outgoing call (but not before).

Good luck tracing it back to the U.S.


PS:  What's your cell phone number?

Friday, July 07, 2006 | 03:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (21) | TrackBack (2) add to | digg digg this! | technorati add to technorati | email email this post



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» Clueless MySpace PR 'Tards from The Big Picture
Attention all of the PR idiots at MySpace and Edelman: Hey Schmucks! Every time someone in your organization breaks wind does not mean you MUST SEND a press release (CFO has Mexican food and amazing gas pains!). You are sending stuff out to blogs that ... [Read More]

Tracked on Jul 30, 2007 10:16:25 AM

» Going Postal on PR People from The Big Picture
I LOVE what Chris Anderson did! I have been hounded by PR 'tards ever since this blog started generating real traffic. (See PR Weenies: Go Away!) So it is with great pleasure that I am pointing to Wired's Editor-in-Chief, Chris Anderson, who went posta... [Read More]

Tracked on Oct 30, 2007 4:23:22 PM


Huh ? Barry... could you explain to us what is going on here ? I'm sure it is interesting, but you lost me.


Posted by: me2200 | Jul 7, 2006 3:11:45 PM

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