Dilbert's Unified Theory of Everything Financial'

Sunday, October 15, 2006 | 08:43 AM

Thanks to Paul Farrell, we learn that "Quietly hidden in Adams' groundbreaking work is a financial formula so simple it rivals Einstein's E=mc2. In its original form Adams' formula was apparently so heretical and so explosive that no major house would touch it when he proposed publishing it as a one-page book. After initial rejections, he announced sadly that "if God materialized on earth and wrote the secret of the universe on one page, he wouldn't be able to find a publisher" either."

Fortunately for America's 95 million investors, Adams' secret nine-point formula was finally revealed in "Dilbert and the Way of the Weasels." Notice its simple brilliance in the exact reproduction of his formula:

1. Make a will

2 .Pay off your credit cards

3. Get term life insurance if you have a family to support

4. Fund your 401k to the maximum

5. Fund your IRA to the maximum

6. Buy a house if you want to live in a house and can afford it

7. Put six months worth of expenses in a money-market account

8. Take whatever money is left over and invest 70% in a stock index fund and 30% in a bond fund through any discount broker and never touch it until retirement

9. If any of this confuses you, or you have something special going on (retirement, college planning, tax issues), hire a fee-based financial planner, not one who charges a percentage of your portfolio

Adams boldly states that this is "everything you need to know about personal investing." In just 129 words, nine simple points, one page you have the unabridged "Unified Theory of Everything Financial." That's it. Everything!

Thanks to Adams' formula, the average irrational investor can ignore Wall Street: "Everything else you may want to do with your money is a bad idea compared to what's on my one-page summary. You want an annuity? It's worse. You want a whole life insurance policy? It's worse. You want to invest in individual stocks? It's worse. You want a managed mutual fund instead of an index fund? It's worse. I could go on, but you get the point."

'Dilbert' deserves the economics Nobel:
'Unified Theory of Everything Financial' wins in parallel universe

Paul B. Farrell
MarketWatch, Last Update: 7:46 PM ET Oct 9, 2006

Sunday, October 15, 2006 | 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (41) | TrackBack (2)
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I remember that weird sensation as the MassacreDAQ P/E reached 400 X. Every reason for the rise was given. The warning signs were everywhere and ignored completely.

We had just gone through the biggest wall street hype job that I had ever seen, Y2K. A company with a sock puppet mascot and no business was at valuations approaching GM. wall street was pouring buckets of boiling shit on the "bears" as they sucked in more and more retirement money.

The current version of the commodities market was being played out in the energy trading swindle. Green$pan proclaimed that the economy appeared rock solid and growth would continue, unimpeded.

Then wall street massively shorted the market and took it down, down, down. Every day I drove by a brokerage that posted the Dow closing. Down 80, down 110, down 30, down 60, down 158, up 2, down ................

Sometimes, it pays to just sell the stock index and wait to see what happens.

Posted by: blam | Oct 15, 2006 10:08:03 AM

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