Saturday, April 30, 2005

oil minister NNPC

I can't help myself:  I get a spam comment, and I find myself editing it for both accuracy and grammar:

oil minister NNPC
2nd of Decenber 2004

I the former chairman of NNPC,and I am from nigeria -- apparently, the home to 78% of the world's phishing scams.

Through my search in the internet (which my colleagues and I believe may be catching on), I got your email address from my 4 year old daughter, who has been configuring a random IP addres generator all morning. After due verication with my colleagues, all of whom share my affliction of having a very small penis, and which also included ensuring your email address didn't bounce, I decided to forward to you this business proposal by hitting the button marked "foward" on my email program, and then performing an interpretive dance, in anticipation that you may be in position,i.e., near a computer and/or brain dead, to assist/handle this business with me.

Or, perhaps, if you will indulge me in another short interpretive dance.

We want a reliable person, one with the schooling and IQ of lawn furniture, who prefarably doesn't ask too many questions, and who could assist us to buy a crude oil invoiced bills from contracts awarded under the budget allocation for MINISTRY OF petolum. In the alternative, we may also be interested in “petroleum,” which we understand may be even more valuable than “petolum.”

These bills had been approved for payment. my days of work in the office will expire january 2005, which in case you haven’t noticed, was 4 months ago. So this is really a test to find only the dumbest and least observant potential participants.

The contracts had been executed, commissioned and the contractors had been paid their actual contractual so the reaming crude oil which i calculated is about $300.000 we are about to receive now is a kick back from the contractors and Under the protocol division as civil servants, this is why am soliciting your assistance in buying the crude oil this manner. We expect this to have more potential parties than we can facilitate, because who can resist getting involved with overseas kickback arrangements? Its a  growth industry

On our part, all modalities had been worked out in ensuring a smooth  transaction. The only hitch might be that I do not know exactly what a modality actually is, but it certainly sounds impressive enough, so lon as the world keeps manufacturing morons faster than we can consume them.

As soon as you indicate your interest, by demonstrating that you recently suffered from a severe blunt head trauma, further instructions will be passed on to you on the procedure that we will follow in accomplishing this deal.

If this proposal is accepted by you, kindly reach me immediately, furnishing me with your confidential telephone numbers, social security numner, credit card information. This is only for us to verify that you are who you claim to be, as we reached you via random email, and you may not be a person of high enough moral standing to particpate in our kickback scheme.

Looking forward to hearing from you. Also, I am a bottom who enjoys rough anal sex.

Best regards
former chaiman NNPC
happy Encyte user

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Posted by: jaey | Sep 4, 2007 2:13:54 PM

I love that

Posted by: christian | May 29, 2008 8:12:25 AM

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