essays & effluvia: YOUR LAYS ARE NUMBERED

Thursday, November 30, 2006

YOUR LAYS ARE NUMBERED

An amusing if some ribald article in the NY Post: YOUR LAYS ARE NUMBERED

"To a woman, size does matter. But it's not the size you're thinking of. What women really care about is the length of the list of former lovers, which is usually either too many or too, too many. No matter how sexually liberated (or liberally sexual), most women believe that the number of guys they've had sex with (the average being somewhere between 7.2 and 10.5, depending on the survey) really does count."

"20 Times a Lady" is a novel about the excuses women go to keep this a short list:

EXCUSES NOT TO ADD HIM TO 'THE NUMBER'

If he yells out another woman's name

If one or both of you ends up gently weeping

If he might be gay

If he took you out for a vegan meal first

If you're drunk, or you could have been drunk had you been drinking

If you just gave up smoking

If you just gave up having meaningless one-night stands

If it's Tuesday

If he's small

If he's small-minded

If he's Jared Leto