essays & effluvia: The Fine Line Between Investment Grade and Junk

Thursday, September 13, 2007

The Fine Line Between Investment Grade and Junk

I love a capella, and enjoy a good economic parody. So how could I not love the Richter Scales ode to the 2007 credit crunch, sub-prime implosion, and hedge fund blowups on Wall Street?

Lyrics are below:

There's a fine, fine line
between investment grade and junk
There's a fine, fine line
between liquidity and a crunch
And you never know 'til you settle up
if the credit is benign
There's a fine, fine line
between a gain and a painful decline

There's a fine, fine line
between the theories and the facts
And there's a fine, fine line
between what's solid and what cracks
And now my holdings badly misbehave
and my losses aren't confined
'Cause there's a fine, fine line
between a gain and a painful decline

For years I piled on debt
and smiled as my profits soared
(I even bought a solid gold toilet, yeah)
Now I see that I can't
be levered this much any more
(panicking, I'm panicking, I think I've soiled myself)
Bernanke, please save me,
cut rates, oh I implore...
(please, even 50 bps)

There's a fine, fine line
between a bull and a bear
And there's a fine, fine line
between delight and despair
I'm hoping I'll avoid the pain to come
from trades yet to unwind
But there's a fine, fine line
between a gain
and a crippling, crushing,
mortally wounding decline
(help me)