Thursday, June 05, 2008

Swearing At Work

To make the work place more civil, we are introducing these handy phrases:

1) TRY SAYING:  I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:  You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

2) TRY SAYING:  She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:  She's a ball-busting bitch.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:  And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING:  I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:  No fucking way.

5) TRY SAYING:  Really?
INSTEAD OF:  You've got to be shiting me!

6) TRY SAYING:  Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:  Tell someone who gives a shit.

7) TRY SAYING:  I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:  It's not my fucking problem.

8) TRY SAYING:  That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:  What the fuck?

9) TRY SAYING:  I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:  This shit won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:  I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:  Why the fuck didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:  He's not familiar with the issues
INSTEAD OF:  He's got his head up his ass.

12) TRY SAYING:  Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:  Eat shit and die.

13) TRY SAYING:  So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:  Kiss my ass.

14) TRY SAYING:  I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:  Fuck it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:  I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:  Shove it up your ass.

16) TRY SAYING:  I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:  This job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING:  You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:  Who the hell died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING:  He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:  He's a prick

Posted at 06:09 AM in Humor | Permalink