Thursday, December 10, 2009

Denmark jean commercial

Hot blonde isn't quite as hot when she acts like most guys - from a Denmark jean commercial.

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Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward . The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth f loor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. (scroll and keep reading!)


To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited

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Wednesday, December 09, 2009



Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Social Media Effect

Washington Post neologism contest

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly neologism contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternative meanings for common words.

(I believe this is older)

         The winners are:

  1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach..
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you 
   are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline..

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with 
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief 
   that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck 

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn 
   by Jewish men.

             The Washington Post's Style Invitational also asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

           Here are this year's winners:

           1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops 
   bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows 
   little sign of breaking down in the near future.

           2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the 
   purpose of getting laid.

           3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the
         subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

           4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

           5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and 
   the person who doesn't get it.

           6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are 
   running late.

           7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.

           8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra 


         9. Karmageddon (n): its like, when everybody is sending off all 
   these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and 
   it's like, a serious bummer.

           10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day
         consuming only things that are good for you.

           11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.

           12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem 
   smarter when they come at you rapidly.

           13 Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after
         you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

           14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into
         your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

           15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in
         the fruit you're eating.

           And the pick of the literature:

           16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

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Monday, December 07, 2009

Gallery: The Year's Most Amazing Scientific Image

 NASA/Thierry Legault

 Emily Jensen/University of Minnesota Academic Health Center
 Paul D. Stewart/BBC Earth

Image from BBC Earth's Yellowstone: Battle for Life.



 Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for Operations (CICLOPS)

The photos themselves -- provided by Cassini Imaging Central Laboratory for Operations (CICLOPS) -- are raw and unprocessed, but along with the thermal data they should help researchers piece together a detailed map of Enceladus's geologically active southern pole.

Check out the full gallery here.


 Courtesy Nikon Small World Photo Micrography Competition: Photographed by James Hayden
 Courtesy Associate Professor James Fadool and Karen Alvarez-Delfin/Florida State University
The Birth of a Planet

 Courtesy Greaves, Richards, Rice & Muxlow
At this moment, in the constellation Taurus, a planet is forming in the dust and debris surrounding the star HL Tau. The protoplanet, named HL Tau b, may be the youngest yet discovered. A team of British astronomers found HL Tau b when they noticed an extra-bright clump in a radio image of its parent star from the Very Large Array radio telescopes at the National Radio Astronomy Observatory in New Mexico. The young planet is believed to be only a few hundred thousand years old and 930 million miles in diameter. Because its parent star is still developing, the protoplanet won't condense into its final form—a ball of hydrogen and helium gas about the size of Jupiter called a gas giant—for at least another million years, says astronomer Anita Richards, a member of the research team. Further observations will help scientists learn how gas giants like Jupiter and Saturn formed in our own outer solar system.
 University of Rochester

 courtesy GeoEye

 Fanny Beron

 Courtesy Nikon Small World Photo Micrography Competition: Photographed by Dr. Pedro Barrios-Perez

See and download the full gallery on posterous

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The Coming Collapse of the Middle Class: Higher Risks, Lower Rewards, and a Shrinking Safety Net - UCTV - University of California Television

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